harry potter book club: the order of the phoenix

Happy Halloweeeeeen!

I have to confess... I've been dreading rereading this book. I've tried my best to shut it out over the past decade. I've only watched the movie once. It's probably a good idea for me to finally face my demons and accept that this book is, in fact, an integral part of the Harry Potter universe. And it really does have its merits. In truth, my memory had shut out anything good or interesting about this entry and chose to cling only to death and Umbridge. That's not a very good place to be. (But Death and Umbridge would be a pretty grand name for a band or a bar or a collection of angst-filled poetry).

So here I am, doing my best to start fresh and view this book as another work of art from Rowling. Spoiler alert: I think I failed. Cue lots of sarcasm and vaguely-masked despair.
Let's dive in. God help us.

Peculiar Petunia
Why am I so fascinated by Petunia? I want to know so much more about her. I think this book is the first time we (and Harry) appreciate her as his mother's sister, and as someone who grew up around, but just outside of, the wizarding realm. What must that have been like? The Dursleys are so intentionally ignorant of Harry's heritage that it's easy to forget that Petunia shares the same DNA. Which, as it turns out, is the reason why her home is such an integral part of Harry's protection - her blood, Lily's blood, seals that ancient magic that Lily produced when she sacrificed herself for her son.

Focusing on Petunia's past really exposes her jealousy, insecurity, pettiness, and fear. When she speaks up after the dementor attack and reveals her knowledge of exactly what the terrible creatures are, it's this fantastically polarizing moment. She mentions hearing the term told to her sister by that "horrid boy", who we assume to be James - and then she receives a raging Howler, REMEMBER MY LAST, which casts her in such a mysterious light. Who is she, really? How much energy does it take for her to pretend on a daily basis that she is normal? Does she ever grieve the loss of her sister, or has she been so truly embittered that she is content in being rigidly callous and average? There's a part of her that recognizes her role in protecting Harry, and is willing to continue doing so. I want to believe that she cares for him in some strange, small way.

The Order of the Phoenix

This is the good stuff. While we're stuck on the outside of the Order along with Harry and the rest of the students for quite a while, being introduced to the Order and its members and catching snippets of their activity gives us a glimpse of the first wizarding war - and what life was like for the few loyal members of the Order back then. It's a harrowing recollection. I understand Harry's shock and dismay when Mad-Eye shows him that photo of the first Order. What a terrible and tragic snapshot of good people whose lives were so completely destroyed. Seeing them in their young and hopeful state is rather jarring. 

I can't really ever get over the tragedy of the Longbottoms. Harry has known about them for a while, but it's almost a relief when they all run into Neville at St. Mungo's and discover the truth about his parents. It's such an important piece of who he is. Neville is so pure and good and true. When his mother wanders over and gives him a gum wrapper, and his gran tells him to throw it away, and he tucks it into his pocket... this is what evil has done. Harry is not the only child left parent-less from war, and he won't be the last. Neville has suffered just as much, if not more, but he has no fame nor recognition. He could have been the one marked by Lord Voldemort as his equal, but he wasn't. He is left to be ordinary, but still lives a life marked by it cruelly.

Visiting Grimmauld Place also reveals even more of Sirius Black's dark past, and the macabre mess of the house succeeds in reflecting their tense circumstances. It's quite a fitting club. For me, one of the saddest moments in the entire series is when Harry finds Mrs. Weasley desperately trying to get rid of a boggart that is taking turns changing into each of her family members' dead bodies. A book clubber pointed out that Rowling is rather clever in the way she personifies human emotion. Dementors as depression, boggarts as fear. I think the usage of such monsters in a scene like this is incredibly poignant. Boggarts are so intimidating because they personify fear in such a physical, public manner. Others are suddenly capable of seeing your most intimate fear on display. In this case, these visions are no passing nightmare - the war is coming, and tragedy and death become more and more likely every day. Molly is eventually saved and comforted by Harry, Sirius and Lupin - who assures her that they're more prepared, and that this time is different. But is it? 

Let's take a break with some:

Spot-On Quotes About Adolescence

Hermione: Oh, stop feeling all misunderstood.

Phineas Nigellus: Has it not occurred to you, my poor puffed-up popinjay, that there might be an excellent reason why the headmaster of Hogwarts is not confiding every tiny detail of his plans to you? Have you never paused, while feeling hard-done-by, to note that following Dumbledore's orders has never yet led you into harm? No. No, like all young people, you are quite sure that you alone feel and think, you alone recognize danger... 

George: Hello, Harry. We thought we heard your dulcet tones.

Ron: One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode. 

Hermione: Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have! 

Harry: I DON'T CARE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!  

Dumbledore: You do care. You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.

It's Hard Being Famous

To keep from crying or breaking something, I tried to laugh every time someone thinks Harry is crazy or lying. After a while I started getting a little light-headed from the effort. Good thing I didn't make it a drinking game. 

I'm very torn between empathizing with Harry and wanting to smack him upside the head. He can be such a dunce. Drama queen supreme. But at the same time, I don't blame him for being frustrated. I get it. Yes, he's a complete moron when it comes to girls and he always takes out his anger on the wrong people. His temper is right on the surface at all times and he's pigheaded and stubborn. But I can't deny that this year is just one giant suck fest. Reading this book I'm constantly flip-flopping from championing Harry and wanting to cheer on his team, to echoing Phineas Nigellus like, THIS IS WHY KIDS BE DUMB.

I had to take a break to do some some serious yoga after Harry's court hearing in the beginning because I was so tensed up during that entire chapter. Fudge is so infuriating, I can't even. In truth, this whole book is comically terrible. Like those movies that are made to be stressful, like Due Date or One Fine Day. I hate those. This is Harry's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. He saw Voldemort return, but is then forced to endure an entire summer with zero information about it. No one will tell him anything, and no one even believes his story in the first place. Not even his friends at Hogwarts, like Seamus (and his no-good mother). People straight-up stare, point and whisper. Rude. 

Dumbledore takes a very different approach, choosing to absolutely avoid Harry at all costs. No help, no guidance, no communication. And listen - I'm a big supporter of Dumbledore. I really am. I think he's boss, and I want him to always be right. But I think he messed up here. I know he was busy working things out in his own way, but Harry deserved a little more from him. It wouldn't have taken a whole lot. It's a small consolation that he admits this in the end.

With Dumbledore giving him the silent treatment and Hagrid mysteriously missing, Harry's left needing a new teacher friend - so he's gifted Dolores Stubby-Fingers Umbridge. Hem, hem. She uses him as a carving station for her creepy-as-crap blood-sucking quill. How is that not a dark magic item? How does she justify using this? She also definitely attempts to use an Unforgivable Curse on a student by the end. Like. What? Oh, and don't forget, Harry is also banned from Quidditch for life. And his first real crush happens to be still tragically confused and in love with her dead boyfriend, who died beside/because of Harry. (Ugh, Cho).

The good news is that Harry has a special mind-bond with Voldemort, and is able to save Mr. Weasley's life by warning the others after having a vivid snake's-eye view of the near-fatal attack. (Shocking twist: it takes a while for anyone to believe him about this. Quick, take another shot). But that mind-bond is kind of a beezy, and undoubtedly dangerous, so he's forced into anti-Voldy lessons with his other bestie, Severus Snape. Those lessons go so well that he sees another mind-bonding vision of Sirius being tortured, goes to save him, realizes it was all a trap (but don't worry because Sirius comes to save Harry from trying to save him), and then Sirius actually dies because of it. He gets tangled up in a flood of whispering silk and then he dies because...well. I don't actually know. It's very vague. I think he dies because of the crappy thread count? We've all been there. 

Ok, so good luck ever being happy again, Harry. This book is your personal pocket dementor. Mine, too.

Sirius Foreshadowing

I kept cringing throughout this book, because I felt like every time Sirius was present or mentioned, the text was pointing directly to his death. It gave me this dark heaviness in my chest. It's so easy to see it now that I know it's coming. Sirius is obviously depressed, and is continuously goaded and stung by comments and instructions from Dumbledore, Snape, Harry, the Weasleys...he's so lonely and dejected. Harry misses multiple chances to speak with him, he has things he wants to say but doesn't, he feels a strange foreboding about telling him goodbye...ugh. Don't go, Sirius. Please don't go. Stay with us and keep on singing God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs. 

Rowling fully explores Harry's grief in the wake of Sirius' death, which is both cathartic and the worst. I spent the rest of the series waiting for Sirius to come back from that freaking veil. Harry's denial was my denial. His hope, his countless disappointments as he runs out of options for how Sirius could still be with him somehow. He can't accept it, and as a reader, neither could I. It's cruel.

Knowing that Harry had that two-way mirror to talk to Sirius the whole time makes me crazy. CRAZY. He could have talked to him at any time, known that he was safe. Instead of taking the word of a deranged house elf. I'm also pretty sure I already told Harry to always listen to Hermione. She's always right, and she knew something was fishy about that vision. (Ok, and she also advised everyone to be nicer to Kreacher.) Why be so dumb, Harry? Why.

Anyone who knows me well (and also a collection of total strangers) knows that Sirius is my favorite Harry Potter character of all time. I haven't read this book since I first read it as a teenager and cried myself to sleep after Sirius died. I'm not sure why I felt such a connection to him then, but it's still there. Sirius and Lupin both represent something very important for Harry...they're walking connections to his parents, especially his dad. They're guardians, father figures. Reading it this time around, I cried for Lupin just as much as I did for Harry. I wanted to read more about him in this book. 15 years ago, he woke up one morning to find that all of his closest friends were either dead or imprisoned. He is given the great gift of discovering the truth and reconciling with Sirius, only to witness his death less than 2 years later. The way that Rowling layers the story, you can truly grieve for the young men they used to be... the best friends who lost so very much - of whom Lupin is now the lone survivor.

Aside:

There are some other pretty prime pieces of foreshadowing in this book. While they're cleaning Grimmauld Place, it's briefly mentioned that they find a "gold locket that none of them can open". Hmmm. The first time Harry sees Dumbledore following his vision of Mr. Weasley being attacked, Dumbles seems to have some kind of epiphany when Harry tells him he saw the vision through the eyes of Voldemort's snake. He pulls out one of his odd devices and says, "Naturally, naturally...but in essence divided?" He knows everything. He and Hermione need to co-lead the Order.

Occlumency and Other Frustrations

It's still rather baffling to me that Dumbledore would allow Snape to instruct Harry in something so vital without any supervision or follow-up. I understand that he trusts Snape, but does he honestly think he's fair and mature when it comes to Harry? Snape is straight-up messed up, ya'll. I must confess, reluctantly, that he does seem to be trying to help Harry in the beginning - the problem is that he's a jerk, and he takes every opportunity to hurt Harry in the process of that learning. Everyone and their mother knows that Snape hates Harry and does his best to make his life miserable. And visa versa. Of course this training failed. 

The information we gather from their time together is kind of a letdown, but it's not surprising. James was arrogant. Sirius was reckless and patronizing, and in a lot of ways, he still is. 12 years in Azkaban may have delayed his social maturity a tad. Not sure what Snape's excuse is. I'm about as far from the Snape Fan Club as I can possibly be, but I do have to say that his worst memory makes me cringe - and I'll admit that I understand why Snape and Sirius still hate each other. I get it. Those kind of grudges are hard to snuff out. Snape was bullied - it's true. But I stand by the fact that this grudge has absolutely nothing to do with Harry. We could go back and forth over who was more rotten as a teenager, but there has been an entire wizarding war in between then and now. Get over it, man. James is dead. Insulting him and telling his teenage son, who never even knew him, how awful he was doesn't really accomplish anything for anyone.

The fact that the memory bothers Harry so much tells us a lot. Harry isn't his dad. It's a shame that Snape never bothers to find out what kind of person Harry is going to be. I'm so glad Harry had the chance (thanks to Ginny - the thing about growing up with Fred and George is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve) to speak with Lupin and Sirius about his dad. They have this wonderful moment of trying to explain, and own up to, their behavior as boys. I wanted more moments like this. I think it would have been quite natural for the three of them to spend time talking about James at length. As it is, we really only get this one small floo-powder conversation. As they say, James was a git but he grew out of it. His head deflated a bit and Lily did fall in love with him, and the true legacy of James is that he was a good man, a loyal friend, and he died protecting his family. 

Just Deserts

Things that make this book bearable: Umbridge being dragged into the Forbidden Forest by centaurs (half-breeds she fears and despises, oh justice). Fred and George leaving school in mayhem and fireworks, and Peeves saluting them in farewell. Dumbledore's Army. Every time someone tells Zacharias Smith to shut up. When Ginny says, "Well, that was a bit stupid of you, seeing as you don't know anyone but me who's been possessed by You-Know-You, and I can tell you how it feels" (and her burgeoning boldness in general). Neville's improvement and bravery. Luna Lovegood. When McGonagall tells Harry to have a biscuit. Rita Skeeter being blackmailed and bossed around by Hermione. The Quibbler. Nymphadora Tonks. This is the book that really brings the girl power. It's where I think people begin to have the greatest disadvantage by not reading the books - there are so many great characters that emerge, especially Ginny, that are barely skimmed in the movies.

It's satisfying at the end to finally get some answers from Dumbledore, even though his recognition that they should've been more honest with Harry comes way too late and at a very high cost. Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young. It's a great line. It's hard to see Dumbledore so vulnerable. I still cry when he admits that the greatest flaw in his plan was growing to care for Harry too much. But what a lesson to learn. Putting the truth above someone's temporary happiness is something we all struggle with, I think.

The best moment of the book, really, is when Fudge finally has to concede to Dumbledore and stop being a raging moron.

That about wraps up The Order of the Phoenix. As always, I could continue talking about this for eons! But I'd much rather hear your thoughts. THANK YOU for reading along! Share your thoughts below, but be careful of spoilers if it's your first time reading through this series, because there are bound to be a few. If you have read them/seen them before, please try to only respond regarding plot points from this book and avoid series-wide spoilers. 

I'm not sure when the next review will be up, but I'll make sure to announce it in The Harry Potter Book Club page! 

Half-Blood Prince is such a great book, and I can't wait to reread it. I think by the time the last few books of the series came out I devoured them a little too quickly...a lot of the details are hazy. I look forward to ranting about it with you all soon. Until then...

 

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harry potter book club: the prisoner of azkaban

It's finally here!

I'm so sorry for the delay in posting this. It has been a crazy month and I haven't been able to really sit down and pour out all of my thoughts. This is my favorite book in the series, so I'm feeling the pressure to thoroughly articulate my love for it in this review. I'm not really sure if it's my favorite because it's amazing all on its own, or if it's my favorite because of the impact these characters and storylines have on the rest of the series. I also can't forget to say a very belated birthday to Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom) and Dobby, whom I previously said I would be dedicating this review to. If you missed our review of book 2, The Chamber of Secrets, hop on back and read it!

Let's get started.

Practical Magic
This is one of my favorite beginnings. Call me juvenile, but I find it rather gratifying that Harry inflates his horrible aunt and runs away. All things considered, Harry is incredibly tolerant of the Dursleys. Him losing his temper with them and getting the heck out of Privet Drive is kind of a highlight for me. His subsequent stay at The Leaky Cauldron is the absolute best because it's how I would love to spend every summer of my life. Wandering Diagon Alley, exploring the shops, buying loads of magical odds and ends and doing homework outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. That's the dream.

It strikes me again in this book that the Ministry's rules for underage magic use are kind of stupid. In the last book, Harry received an official warning of expulsion because Dobby performed magic at the Dursleys. Seems like their system could use some work. Harry technically should have been expelled for ballooning his aunt, but being the Boy Who Lived has its conveniences I suppose.

The Secret Windows

Rowling does a wonderful job of creating little portals in each book that link directly to the ultimate purpose and plot of the series as a whole. She includes little hints and character previews that I never noticed the first time around. One of my favorites to read was that of Cedric Diggory, who won't really be introduced until the next book. You can already tell that he's easygoing and likable. He tries to declare a rematch when he catches the snitch after Harry's dementor fall because he feels terrible about winning under such circumstances, and he's one of the first people to congratulate Harry on obtaining the new Firebolt as a replacement for his poor smashed Nimbus (was anyone else absurdly sad about that?). He's a classy fellow.

I'm constantly asking myself as I read these books -- are these links intentional? Perhaps she's retroactively creative, and takes little pieces from past books and makes them relevant to the future. Could she have already known the ultimate significance of the vanishing cabinet that was smashed in book 2, or was that just a coincidence? I'm constantly questioning both Rowling and Dumbledore. How much do you really know? Either way these tidbits are genius, and they make rereading this series all the more exciting. Now that I know the ending of each book, looking for the clever ways that she hints and foreshadows the truth is very fun.

The Slow Regard of Hermione

Hermione spends the majority of this book on her own, due partially to the stress of taking a bajillion classes and due mostly to her constant fighting with Ron. Harry is more or less stuck in the middle, but he's basically on Ron's side by default. They're 13 now, so this book is kind of the prequel to their teenage angst. Be passive aggressive, be stubborn, don't communicate. The keys to being a proper teen.

The fact that Hermione is keeping big secrets from the boys and is more or less alone for most of the book creates the best tension, though. She manages to keep her Time-Turner a secret and chooses to protect Lupin's secret as well (possibly out of spite). Her intellectual absence from the bulk of the story keeps the boys, and occasionally the reader, in the dark about a few things. It makes you realize how integral Hermione really is to the trio. There is a lot of fan appreciation for the concept that the trio are representations of Hogwarts Houses, despite the fact that they're all in Gryffindor. Ron is the Hufflepuff and Hermione is the Ravenclaw. (It's a little unfair there's no nod to Slytherin, unless you argue that Harry is both Slytherin and Gryffindor - there has to be someone in Slytherin that isn't awful).

There are multiple moments in which Hermione completely shocks, inspires, and impresses absolutely everyone. She mocks a professor, storms out of Divination, smacks Malfoy across the face. I love Lupin's appreciation for her intelligence, and I love when she startles Sirius by calling him "Mr. Black" in the Shrieking Shack. By the end of the book you realize she was completely on point the entire time, from trusting her cat to totally calling it that Sirius sent Harry that dang Firebolt.

The Cat's Meow
Let's be honest, Crookshanks is the bomb. Cats rule the magic world. Because there's also McGonagall, who is an Animagus cat, and no can argue that she's legit. Crookshanks, with his flat face and bottlebrush tail, can instantly tell the true character of another person/animal. He befriends Sirius Black even when he's in dog form, and curls up protectively on his chest when he's being threatened by Harry. Crookshanks saw right through the scrawny Scabbers and plotted his demise from day 1, despite the continual interference from the clueless trio. Crookshanks knows best, guys. Even Ron figures that out by the end, allowing Crookshanks to purr his approval of Ron's new owl.

I've gotta point out that this book features a great display of animal intelligence. Hedwig somehow finds Hermione on her vacation in France before Harry's birthday (how are these owls so incredible at finding people?) and as Hermione puts it, "I think she wanted to make sure you got something for your birthday for a change." Hedwig then shows up at the Leaky Cauldron right when Harry does, because she's the smartest and best owl in the universe. Then there's Buckbeak. I love that hippogriffs are so proud, and that they bow to display their trust in a person. Plus, any creature that pecks the crap out of Malfoy is a hero in my book.

I don't know about you, but I would have loved to see how Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures class would have progressed without Malfoy's interference. It's such a bummer, because that first class was seriously cool. I think he could have been an incredible teacher if he maintained that confidence. As always, poor Hagrid. In any case, when I first read this book, I was equally relieved by the life saving of both Sirius and Buckbeak. They make an epic runaway pair.

Random Aside
I just have to mention the Quidditch Cup. And the fact that McGonagall actually takes a break from scolding Lee Jordan to shake her fist at Malfoy. Brilliant. For some reason I always tear up when they win and I just want to be there to see Oliver Wood's face. Silly, stubborn, absurd Oliver Wood. I think I love him.

Magical Artifacts

The Time-Turner kind of boggles my mind. Was this another Dumbledore dupe? I feel like Hogwarts leadership wouldn't just hand such a powerful device over to a third year student just because she wanted to sign up for every class available. Hermione mentions that McGonagall had to beg the Ministry and send a ton of letters for permission, but that's an awfully big advantage they're giving to her. Why wouldn't they just rearrange class times to allow Hermione to attend a few more crucial lessons? Certainly that would have been easier than throwing a 13-year-old into the dangerous throes of time travel. 

Unless Dumbledore needed someone who knew how to use it. Needed someone who was smart, good, driven and responsible to utilize the Time-Turner with Harry in case it needed to be used for the good of Sirius Black. For the good of justice.  I SEE YOU DUMBLEDORE. I see your little smirk when Buckbeak mysteriously disappears. Those twinkling eyes don't fool me.

P.S. WHY don't they use the Time-Turner more often? There are so many bad things that happen at Hogwarts. You could go back and hit Malfoy again, just for fun. Who knows, maybe they use it all the time and we just don't see it happening.

The Marauder's Map is undoubtedly the greatest achievement teenage boys have ever accomplished. I'm not really going to get into the questions of how they actually managed to create such a powerful and intuitive tool (and how they first discovered that tapping the witch statue's hump and saying "dissendium" opened a secret passageway) but I will ask this: how did Fred and George Weasley never notice that Ron was sleeping with a boy named Peter Pettigrew in his dormitory for two whole years??

This is a popular fan question, and it's a hilarious one to consider, but my best answer would be that Fred and George weren't really using the map that much at this point. They knew its secrets, and probably only utilized it when sneaking around. I doubt they ever used it to look at the Gryffindor dormitories. They were more concerned with which teachers were roaming the halls, and how best to manage mischief around the castle and beyond. They obviously felt confident enough in their own abilities to pass the map on to Harry, so chances are it had been a while since they had scoured it daily.

Moony, Padfoot and Prongs

have the power to rip my heart out every time. Anyone who knows me well knows that Sirius Black is my favorite Harry Potter character of all time, but I also adore Lupin. His presence is so gentle in this book even though he holds the key to so many of its mysteries. There are interesting subtleties in both Lupin and Sirius that I paid special attention to this time around. For instance, every time Harry mentions hearing the deaths of his mother and father when the dementors draw near, Lupin physically reacts. He pales or flinches or his hand slips off his desk. Harry has no idea that he's speaking and sharing these dementor-driven haunts with someone who lived life with his parents and loved them dearly. 

Lupin has an incredible line in this book that always hits me: 

Don't expect me to cover up for you again, Harry. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them -- gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks.

I think the greatest struggle I have with this book is understanding why Sirius, Lupin and James would ever trust Peter Pettigrew with their lives. Perhaps he was a wonderful liar, or they simply overlooked the possibility of treachery because he worshiped them. Maybe it would be like thinking Neville was working for the Dark Lord; the thought just never occurred to anyone, why would it? It's difficult to really understand because we know so little of their time together as friends at Hogwarts, but it boggles my mind that they would never question such a sniveling, cowardly boy's loyalty. It's crazy to me that Sirius and Lupin both suspected each other before they ever suspected Peter. I wonder how that distrust started, and what possessed Sirius to put so much faith in Wormtail instead. Dumbledore himself had offered to be the Secret-Keeper for the Potters; why not go to him?

Of all the villains in the series, Peter Pettigrew is the most foul. We haven't come across Bellatrix or Umbridge yet, and they're both horrid as well, but I simply cannot stomach the vile cowardice of Peter Pettigrew.

The Shrieking Shack
I could probably talk for an hour just about the Shrieking Shack scene, which contains so much what-the-crappery. But I was especially interested in the subtext of the slow realization that Sirius is innocent. Right at the beginning, Ron yells at Sirius, "if you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us too!" The next line says that something flickered in Black's shadowed eyes. I wonder what that flicker was? Surprise, or possibly respect? Ron is hardly an imposing presence, but I'll bet you anything Sirius would appreciate and be impressed by such boldness from the scrawny best friend of Harry Potter.

Also, when Sirius is attacked by Harry, he says, "No, I've waited too long --" I have always thought that line was referring to the regret he felt regarding Harry... that he had waited too long to reach out to him and tell him the truth. But now I think he's saying I've waited too long to fail now! in reference to killing Pettigrew. He's pretty vague throughout this whole encounter and obviously a bit rusty at human interaction after being imprisoned for 12 years, but I now wonder what his thoughts at that point are. He obviously is obsessed with killing Pettigrew, but he has also shown that he cares very much about Harry. Which drive is stronger?

It was also very hard for me to not shout at Harry about Trelawney's prophecy. As silly as that woman is, she literally told Harry hours earlier that Voldemort's servant would escape that night. So yes, Harry, it kind of is your fault...but I suppose it's better to not be a murderer, and to have Wormtail owe you a great debt. That's a kind of special magic, like the love of Lily. As Dumbledore says, "the time may come when you will be very glad you saved Pettigrew's life." When Dumbledore speaks, ya'll listen up.

The Good, the Bad and the Snape
Snape. SNAPE. This might be my favorite book for the sole reason that Snape goes absolutely batty and embarrasses himself. It's pointed out a few times by various characters, but Snape simply cannot deal in this book. He's beside himself as soon as Lupin arrives. He just cannot let go of his school grudges. Even Lupin implores him, "you fool - is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?" The answer is yes, Lupin, and he would love to put you there, too.

We all know what it's like to have those formative moments as a young person. It's difficult to let those things go, especially if you were particularly mistreated or bullied. But keep in mind that Snape is behaving this way 16 years after school ended, and after a war. His great nemesis James Potter was murdered 12 years ago. He's gone. The power with which Snape clings to his hatred of James and Harry is pretty astounding.

While many may feel differently, I think Snape reveals himself here to be petty, immature, vindictive, and kind of insane. He shouts constantly at Hermione, spits all over the place, and won't listen to reason - even from Dumbledore. I kind of agree with Cornelius Fudge by the end, which is a first. "Fellow seems quite unbalanced...I'd watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore."

The Ending
Does anyone else cry through pretty much the entire end chapter? Of course, Sirius being innocent doesn't do a whole lot of good when there's no proof. Pettigrew escapes. Even the power of the Time-Turner doesn't allow for them to reverse his escape (although I can't help but cringe every time Hermione stops Harry from interfering - just GET THE RAT!).

I find it to be rather interesting that in both this book and the last, one of the trio is out for the count. In Chamber of Secrets, Hermione misses out on all the action. She's petrified and never gets to see the Chamber of Secrets or experience that part of the adventure. Likewise in this book, Ron is the one restricted to the hospital wing while Hermione and Harry save lives and time travel. What a bummer!

The real heart-wrenchers for me, though, are when Sirius invites Harry to live with him and Harry says yes and Sirius smiles - a smile that transforms him back into the man that James knew. When Sirius tells Harry that he has been watching his Quidditch matches, and that he flies as well as his father did. When Harry is trying to protect Sirius from the dementors and keeps saying to himself, "I'm going to live with my godfather. He'll be alright. I'm going to go and live with him." When Harry thinks he sees his father across the lake. When he realizes his father is actually himself, and that his Patronus is a stag. When they rescue Sirius and barely have time to say goodbye. When Sirius says "you really are your father's son, Harry." When Lupin resigns, and Harry begs him to stay. When Dumbledore says, "Prongs rode again last night" (and pretty much Dumbledore's entire ending dialogue). When Harry mourns for the home he almost had with Sirius - because it would have been the next best thing to having his father back. And lastly, of course, when Sirius sends a new owl for Ron, with a letter and a note giving Harry permission to visit Hogsmeade on weekends. Gah. I just can't. It's too much.

Extra Questions:

1. Do you think Dumbledore is ever really in the dark? Both Lupin and Dumbledore say that he never knew about their Animagi powers while they were at school, and he seems genuinely surprised about Sirius's innocence - he even provided the Ministry with the proof that Sirius was the Potters' Secret-Keeper. But the convenience of the Time-Turner, and his little smile when Buckbeak is missing, and his vague amusement and twinkling eyes all make me want to call his bluff.
2. What would your boggart transform into? I'm genuinely curious about this for myself. I have no idea what would pop out of that old cupboard, which makes it all the more terrifying. It would probably be a shark. A floating shark, dear Lord.
3. Does Sirius deserve Snape's lifelong wrath? The prank Sirius pulled was neither funny nor safe, but nothing truly terrible happened and Sirius spent 12 years in Azkaban as an innocent man. Is Snape's grudge against all three of them still justified?
4. How many Quidditch deaths do you think they're hiding from the public? This game is so dangerous. They play in horrific weather, they have no way to stop people from coming on the field dressed as dementors/actual dementors, they don't seem to have any hex protection in place...

I think that might actually wrap up this month's discussion of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! It's going to be impossible for me to review these books as they continue to get longer. I have so much to say, I can barely stop talking. I'm nerding out hardcore, I think. I need to reign myself in.

In any case, THANK YOU for reading along! Share your thoughts below, but be careful of spoilers if it's your first time reading through this series, because there are bound to be a few. If you have read them/seen them before, please try to only respond regarding plot points from this book and avoid series-wide spoilers. Thanks!

Next up will be Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and the review will be posted here on the blog on September 1st in honor of the first day of school at Hogwarts. That should give us all time to read, reflect, and review.

See you then!

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the best of sirius black

I decided it was about time for me to dedicate a post to one of my first loves, Harry Potter. 

Allow me to geek out a little bit with you. Prisoner of Azkaban is my favorite of the Potter books, I think mostly because I love Sirius Black. I get this weird and wonderful nostalgic feeling every time I look at that original book cover (although really, all of the original book art has that effect on me). 

Sometimes a character touches my soul in a way that's truly lasting, and Sirius Black is absolutely one of the most poignant examples of that. I remember quite vividly meeting him for the first time. 

And by "meet" I mean read, because of course I am a book enthusiast, and the books always win. Especially in the case of Harry Potter. I happen to think that Gary Oldman played a fine Sirius Black, but the real Sirius is so much more than that. He is much deeper and more tragic and complex, and his character in the books gets way more (well-deserved) airtime than the scant movie-version-Sirius. 

(Somewhat obvious disclaimer: SPOILERS ABOUND).

My husband and I were re-watching Goblet of Fire last night, and aside from the ridiculousness of super-angry Dumbledore in that film (which I won't even try to get into here), the most upsetting part of that movie is the great lack of Sirius Black. The movies barely skim the surface of his short epic life, and for those of you who have only watched the movies and haven't read the books (aka people I'm judging harshly), here are my top 5 reasons for loving Sirius Black. 

1. He Escaped from Azkaban

In other words, he is legit. 

I just love a good plot twist. Sirius is a blatantly terrible, malnourished, matted criminal for most of Prisoner of Azkaban and it takes a good amount of blood, sweat and tears for us and Harry to realize that he's actually his long-imprisoned and wrongly-accused godfather. 

Not only did he escape from the darkest wizarding prison of all time, but he did so by secretly being a dog as an Animagus. He was so impassioned by the sight of Peter Pettigrew in the newspaper and the thought of him being near Harry that he gained the strength and resolution to slip by the Dementors and swim all the way to Hogwarts. He is one dedicated hound. 

(Side note: he owns a flying motorcycle, he escaped Azkaban as Padfoot, and he escaped imprisonment again by riding a condemned hippogriff named Buckbeak. Gotta give him props for style.)

2. He Keeps His Promises

He is the epitome of a loyal friend. Avenging the death of his best friend James was the driving force that led him to escape from Azkaban. Once he gets to Harry, he immediately claims his right as Harry's godfather, the way James would have wanted it. He invests himself in Harry's life, befriending his friends and teaching him more about his family than he ever would have known otherwise. He is incredibly protective, a man of great conviction and a man of his word.

Even though he couldn't invite Harry to live with him the way he had originally intended (due to a cowardly rat and a wizard world price on his head), he still maintained constant contact and was always intent on being with Harry whenever he could. 

His friendship is the real deal. 

I love Prisoner of Azkaban for many reasons, but these first scenes with Sirius are at the top of my list. There's a lot of what-the-crappery that goes on in that chapter, and a lot of twists and turns. That quote is one of my favorites, and it always gives me chills. 

His loyalty to those he loved always came before himself -- even to death.

3. He is Broken

One of the most resonating aspects of Sirius's character is that he is just as broken as Harry is. He is flawed, but he is also incredibly strong. He becomes a mixture of father and brother to Harry, which occasionally causes him to lose sight of Harry and instead see James - the friend he can't quite let go of, the one he will forever miss. Rip my heart out.

Some might say that Sirius was perhaps too broken and reckless to be a true father figure to Harry...that maybe he was unable to carry that burden of responsibility. In truth he never really had the chance to grow up -- much of his life was stolen by war, grief and Azkaban. He never had a family of his own. His happiest and strongest memories were of boyhood with James. Maybe there was still a lot of immaturity there. He was too ready to risk himself, and less thoughtful of those he could hurt by putting himself in danger.

But because of their blurred relational line, Sirius is much more honest and open with Harry than any of the other adults, much to their frustration. As an outsider I always trusted Sirius more because he never lied to Harry or tried to hide things from him "for his own good". He may have been a little too eager to replace James in his life, but he also knew, or at least believed, that Harry could handle more than anyone else gave him credit for.

4. He is Brave

This title could also be he is reckless, but the bottom line is that he is a man of action. It makes me want to both cheer and cry that he's the type of person who can't sit still while other people are out there doing things. The risk, the danger, the passion, the living. That is Sirius.

Even from the beginning he broke the mold set forth by his ancestors -- the Ancient House of Black, notoriously noble and wicked, was absolutely ashamed by his goodness. He was the first decent Black in centuries, sorted into Gryffindor at age 11 and committed to shaking loose from his family's legacy. As we know from other dark wizards, breaking free from the Slytherin family tradition isn't an easy task.

He was brave and rebellious enough to risk capture in order to be closer to Harry on several occasions. Even before they met, he would sneak to the Gryffindor Quidditch matches to watch Harry fly. When Harry started having dreams related to Voldemort, and Sirius believed him to be in danger, he moved closer to Hogwarts to be nearer to him.
This wasn't just any ordinary danger, either -- if he would have been caught he would have been given over to the Dementors. As Dumbledore said, a Dementor's Kiss is "a fate worse than death."
He was quite literally risking his soul.


5. His Story is Tragic

As much as I hate the ending to Sirius's story, as much as I despise his life being snatched away (in a curtain, no less), his tragic end is part of the reason why I hold him so dear in my heart.
His reckless desire to act and protect was what ultimately killed him -- and I can't even blame him for it. I can blame Kreacher, and Harry a little bit, but that won't help any of us.

UGH, Order of the Phoenix. That whole book made me want to quit reading altogether to be honest, but I think I've come to the point (15 years later) where I can begrudgingly accept and understand.

His death is a part of the devastating intricacies of Harry's life. It's part of what both propels and comforts Harry in the moments before facing his own death, as he confronts Voldemort for the last time. Sirius was another casualty of war -- and it was a war he believed in.

He is my favorite character. He always has been and always will be.
Long live Moony, Padfoot and Prongs.

The End.