harry potter book club: the goblet of fire

ALL ABOARD THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS!

Every year when September 1st rolls around, I feel a bit of a twinge that I am actually not magical in any way, shape or form. I am not on my way to Hogwarts. It's a tough thing to deal with every year.

Despite that, my Hufflepuff pride is strong and I'm ready to discuss The Goblet of Fire with you fine folks. So without any further ado, let's get started!'

Disclaimer: Goblet of Fire is the worst movie. It's awful. Truly. Especially Dumbledore. Please read this book. 

An Expanding World
Obviously, this book is much larger than the previous 3. I think the size of these later books can sometimes contribute to the hesitancy that some people feel when deciding whether or not to read the HP series. In my opinion, the more pages the better. I want the story to keep going and going. But I also think that in this book's case, the extra length almost serves as a line being drawn in the sand. Suddenly this becomes a more grown-up fiction. Larger page count, darker content, a war on the horizon. What did you think of the jump in page-length? Was it satisfying, or could some of the story have been trimmed down?

Goblet of Fire sets itself apart from the very beginning. Where the first three began in the home of the Dursleys, the silly selfish pigheaded home of the Dursleys, this one begins in the darkness of Tom Riddle Sr.'s parents' home. It's not in Harry's viewpoint, so it's immediately in sharp contrast to the often lighthearted summertime beginnings of previous books. It's incredibly unnerving and very confusing, since you don't quite understand its significance until much later. It features a very creepy Voldemort, a very pathetic Wormtail, and a poor murdered groundskeeper. It's a very dark segment. Especially when milking Nagini is mentioned. Blech.

Overall, Rowling is expanding her world, just as Harry's world is expanding in the story itself. He is becoming more aware of the international wizarding community, the Ministry of Magic, and the adult wizarding world as a whole. He's even meeting more Weasleys! New terms are introduced to Harry in this book, such as Death Eater and Auror, that have great significance to him moving forward. He's no longer a new wizard; he's in the thick of it, and he belongs there.

LOL this gets me every time.

Trusting in What You Know
Honestly, the adolescent bickering of the trio in books 4 and 5 has always really annoyed me. I just want to shake them. Snap out of it! This time around I tried to just allow myself to chuckle at it. Especially the dynamic between Ron and Harry. It's actually a fairly accurate depiction of friendship. Despite knowing someone incredibly well, we can still be waylaid by jealousy, or hurt feelings, or some other vulnerability. Harry's name coming out of the Goblet of Fire starts a whole new slew of drama for everyone.

If Ron had honestly sat down to think about it, he would have taken Harry at his word, as Hermione had. But this isn't the first time we've seen Ron sulk and/or use the silent treatment when he's angry with someone. In the last book, he was shutting Hermione out. We see him struggling with his identity in this book in a very real way. He hates being overshadowed by everyone in his life, and he hates being poor. His reaction to Harry being in the spotlight again was rooted in his own insecurities.

If Harry had taken Ron's bad attitude with a better perspective and listened to Hermione's counsel about why Ron was behaving that way, he could have responded with understanding and resolved it in a jiffy. But pride, jealousy, selfishness, etc. etc. Moral of the story, always listen to Hermione. Unless she's talking about S.P.E.W. again.

Who the Deuce is Dumbledore
This is very important, oh you Harry Potter movie-watchers. Dumbledore is not an angry man. In fact, when Harry's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore is mostly silent. Unreadable. In the room where the champions gather afterwards, he calmly asks Harry if he put his name in. Does he shove Harry against a wall, spittle flying as he screams at him like a maniac? No. NO. He allows the rest of the room to argue, discuss, bicker. His voice is barely present as things are resolved and decided. This one scene is really indicative of his role in the entire book. We see him taking a step back from the plot. He's a thinking man. A twinkling-eyes man. Even in his encounters with wretches like Rita Skeeter, he is polite, smiling, bowing. He offers night caps and smooths things over like a good pair of Spanx.

Overall, Dumbledore seems to be much more perplexed and burdened in this book than ever before. For once, I'm doubting my theory that he always knows everything. It seems like he's truly hoodwinked here. Near the end we discover that he's been trying to figure things out, pondering over his Pensieve and piecing things together. He's definitely still been keeping watch over Harry, staying in contact with Sirius and biding his time, trying to solve the mysteries. But he was fooled by Mad-Eye, and was too late to stop the graveyard events. He knew the storm was coming, but didn't know how to act against it.

Even still, it's a great Dumbledore book. He unveils small hints about his theory on the connection between Harry and Voldemort - what does the connection between them, and the pain in Harry's scar, really mean? He also demonstrates a ferocity and power that we haven't yet seen from him.

At that moment, Harry fully understood for the first time why people said Dumbledore was the only wizard Voldemort had ever feared. The look upon Dumbledore's face as he stared down at the unconscious form of Mad-Eye Moody was more terrible than Harry could have ever imagined. 

There was no benign smile upon Dumbledore's face, no twinkle in the eyes behind the spectacles. There was cold fury in every line of the ancient face; a sense of power radiated from Dumbledore as though he were giving off burning heat.

I wanted to jump out of my chair and cheer for him, both here and later when he confronts Cornelius Fudge for being the biggest imbecile the wizarding world has ever seen. There is so much about Dumbledore's role in the events of this series that we can only guess at, but one of the most incredible bits that Rowling includes toward the end of this book is the "gleam of triumph" that Harry spots in Dumbledore's eyes once Harry reveals that Voldemort used his blood to resurrect himself. The answer to that bizarre, possibly imagined gleam of triumph isn't given until the very end of book 7. That's incredible.

I've had to stop looking at this because it makes me laugh SO HARD.

The Wonderful Weasleys
I think one of the tragedies of only watching the movies (other than DID YAH PUT YAH NAME IN DA GOBLET OF FIYAH?!) is that you miss out on some of the most wonderful characters of the series. The Weasley family is known and loved by anyone who has ever seen or read this story, but only the book-lovers truly know them. The movies cut out Charlie entirely (for shame), and so much of the Weasley character nuances are completely lost in the films. There are 7 Weasley children, so even the books can't quite spend enough time on each of them. But everything that's there is fantastic.

The Burrow is a brilliant place to be at the beginning of this book, when the entire Weasley family is together for the first time with Harry. I've always loved Bill. And can we just talk about the part where the champions are able to gather with their families before the final task, and Harry doesn't even bother going into the room because he has no family, and Cedric calls him in and says "they're waiting for you!" and Bill and Mrs. Weasley are standing there waiting for him? All of the feels.

I think Harry has always kind of wanted to help the Weasleys financially. He's always felt pangs of guilt and awkwardness when money issues are brought up, because he has so much and they have so little. While he has never quite known how to repay them for everything they've done for him, monetarily or otherwise, his decision to give the twins his winnings to start their joke shop is the best.

I also think it's the best that Dumbledore knows he can count on the Weasleys in the turbulent days ahead.

The Madness of Mad-Eye
Mad-Eye's betrayal has always been a very confusing twist for me, because I feel like I know Mad-Eye. I liked and respected him throughout the book, despite his quirks. He's this gritty, smart, attentive presence throughout the book, and when you discover that you never actually met the real Mad-Eye, it's very disorienting. His kindness to Neville, his ferret trick on Malfoy, his overall involvement in Harry's well-being. It's all tainted. I have no idea how I feel about the real Mad-Eye, because I don't know that guy. It's weird, feeling like I actually miss a psycho Death Eater.

Even knowing about his betrayal ahead of time, I still wasn't struck by much foreshadowing for it. When did you first suspect there might be something off-kilter about Mad-Eye? Or did you suspect him at all? I thought he was an incredibly well-disguised villain. His true accomplishment was the fact that he was able to hide his identity from Dumbledore himself. Dumbledore confided in him, called on him, and never seemed to guess that anything was amiss with the ex-Auror. That's somewhat comforting, because it suggests that the Moody impostor did his homework, and that his impersonation wasn't so far-off from the real thing - so perhaps we know the real Mad-Eye after all, in a roundabout way.

This kind of deception really permeates deeply. We see magical things that were previously used for simple mischief, such as the Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder's Map, used for murder and treachery. So many of Harry's well-intentioned actions turn around to devastate him. He's going to need a lot of therapy.

Hufflepuff Glory
Guys, I was really overwhelmed by the death of Cedric, and by pretty much the entire ending of the book. It just hit me really hard. I don't remember if I cried the first time I read it, but I was especially attentive to Cedric's character and to the small things about him that I maybe hadn't ever noticed before. One of the things that stood out to me this time around was when they were in the maze together, and Cedric decides he's going to give the victory to Harry. Harry is pretty shocked (and annoyed) by this. "He was walking away from the sort of glory Hufflepuff House hadn't had in centuries." But that's kind of what sets Hufflepuff apart, isn't it? It's not about the glory. It's about the loyalty.

Both Cedric and Harry hesitated and refused to take the Triwizard Cup alone, both urging the other to take it. They both recognized that their victory was only possible because of the help they had given each other, so they decided to take it together - as a team. Cedric's loyalty and fairness, and Harry's heart for others, is what ultimately led Cedric directly to his death...which I think is the saddest thing of all.

Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory.

The Overlooked
Neville Longbottom. I can't help but take a second to fully appreciate dear Neville. I adore the fact that Ginny goes to the ball with Neville, even though we all know she would have died to go with Harry. Neville is constantly under-appreciated and overlooked. He's the one that had the answer to gillyweed the entire time, but no one had bothered to ask him. His parents were tortured to the point of insanity by Death Eaters, but none of his friends had ever even thought to ask about them or why he was raised by his grandmother.

Like Harry, he has a past of similar horror and sorrow - arguably even worse - but it's something he has always silently lived with.

Things I Love
Percy is a total git, but I really enjoy the glimpse of humanity we see in him when he rushes out into the water, pale and panicked, to help Ron after the second task. He's not all bad, despite his best efforts to be obnoxious.

Fleur was totally checking out Bill across the room. She digs the long hair.

Everything about Sirius. I love he and Harry's relationship. We see Sirius taking on a much more authoritative, albeit restless and unorthodox, role in Harry's life. My favorite scene is when Harry is telling Dumbledore and Sirius what happened in the graveyard - when Harry tells them about the echoes of his parents coming out of Voldemort's wand, he looks around and sees that Sirius has his face buried in his hands.

Ron and Hermione! Oh, the tension. Harry didn't say anything. He liked being back on speaking terms with Ron too much to speak his mind right now -- but he somehow thought that Hermione had gotten the point much better than Ron had. 

The phoenix feather in Harry's wand is from Fawkes! I love that bird.

Mrs. Weasley set the potion down on the bedside cabinet, bent down, and put her arms around Harry. He had no memory of ever being hugged like this, as though by a mother. The full weight of everything he had seen that night seemed to fall in upon him as Mrs. Weasley held him to her. 

Sob.

Extra Questions:

1. Why do you think the Death Eaters chose the World Cup to come out of hiding for a bit of muggle torture? Why would they risk such a public display, when the Dark Mark still terrifies them so much?
2. Harry has been labeled a "great wizard" from the time he was a baby...does he deserve that title? Is he acting of his own free will or is his destiny pretty much set out for him, and manipulated around him, by others? Is he actually becoming a great wizard, or is he just lucky?
3. We see again and again that Harry is attentive and empathetic to others (he makes sure the other hostages are safe in the lake, he tells Cedric about the dragons, etc.) - what do you think about his ignorance of Neville's past, and his failure to ask Neville to help him in any of his tasks?
4. Does anyone else think that Snape owes Harry an apology for threatening him and accusing him of stealing from his office? Because he DEFINITELY owes one to Hermione for saying "I see no difference" after Draco hexes her teeth. Jerk.

I find it incredibly fitting that the ending chapter for this book is called The Beginning. It's the beginning of a lot of things. The characters are teenagers now. There are passions building, relationships complexifying. There has been murder, dark magic, the rise of an old evil. Of course, Harry has already dealt with sorrow and pain and danger - but witnessing Cedric's death is a real horror for him in a way that the death of his parents never was. It changes him.

"The Beginning" serves as a giant cliffhanger. We know now why Harry has to be sent to the Dursleys every summer - there's some kind of ancient magic invoked there by Dumbledore that protects him as long as he's there. But everything else (Hagrid's summer assignment with Madame Maxime, Snape's mysterious task, why Dumbledore trusts Snape so much, Hermione's decision to kidnap Rita Skeeter in a jar, how the Ministry will react/ignore Voldemort's rise to power, etc.) is left in the air. There's a hovering anticipation that will lead us directly into The Order of the Phoenix. 

THANK YOU for reading along! Share your thoughts below, but be careful of spoilers if it's your first time reading through this series, because there are bound to be a few. If you have read them/seen them before, please try to only respond regarding plot points from this book and avoid series-wide spoilers. Thanks!

Come back here on October 30th to celebrate Molly Weasley's birthday, and to discuss Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! Go forth and read, my friends. And good luck - it's my least favorite book.

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keeper of words: favorite quotes

I love the peculiar mind-locking sensation of hearing or reading a line or phrase in a song or a story that completely captures you. There's a visceral reaction when you comprehend and are struck by a perfectly written or spoken phrase. It catches you off guard with its wittiness or makes your heart skip a beat with its ferocity or poetic accuracy. My favorite books have those pockets of power over me. I've never been much of a highlighter, physically marking up or taking notes in my actual books, but I absolutely am an internal keeper of words. Special lines stay with me for months, sometimes years.

When I read The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, I went to work the next day and created a collage of all of my favorites quotes from that book to hang around my cubicle wall. I wanted to be completely surrounded by those thoughts, words, feelings. The beauty of that novel struck me dumb, and it was all about the words.

My husband and I were listening to The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch on audiobook (for the second time) on our drive home this weekend, and we were practically giddy with the crude, brilliant writing. We kept skipping back to hear pieces of it again and again. The wit, the stunning wit. It tumbles around in your mind until you're dizzy with it.

I can't get Locke Lamora out of my head, so I thought today's post would be dedicated to sharing some of my favorite book quotes. There are so many to choose from, but I hope some of the ones featured here catch your mind in that extravagant way and inspire you to read and breathe them all in. Especially if there are any books in this list you haven't yet read! Go forth and remedy that at once.

Trust me, though, the words were on their way, and when they arrived, Leisel would hold them in her hands like the clouds, and she would wring them out like the rain.

The Book Thief

"You were the one who taught me," he said. "I never looked at you without seeing the sweetness of the way the world goes together, or without sorrow for its spoiling. I became a hero to serve you, and all that is like you."

The Last Unicorn

It seemed she was in a cathedral—if, that is, the earth itself were to dream a cathedral into being over thousands of years of water weeping through stone.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone

I'm going to tell you something important. Grown-ups don't look like grown-ups on the inside either. Outside, they're big and thoughtless and they always know what they're doing. Inside, they look just like they always have. Like they did when they were your age. The truth is, there aren't any grown-ups. Not one, in the whole wide world.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane

Sometimes I think my papa is an accordion. 

When he looks at me and smiles and breathes, I hear the notes.

The Book Thief

"He must have known I'd want to leave you."

"No, he must have known you would always want to come back."

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

It gave her a creeping sense of impending aloneness, like she was some orphaned animal raised by do-gooders, soon to be released into the wild. 

She didn't want to be released into the wild. She wanted to be held dear.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone

Rose doesn’t like the flat country, but I always did – flat country seems to give the sky such a chance.

I Capture the Castle

If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing! He steals too much!

The Lies of Locke Lamora

I am what I am. I would tell you what you want to know if I could, for you have been kind to me. But I am a cat, and no cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer.

The Last Unicorn

my to-read list

I just love books and their book covers. So colorful, so different, so interesting. I've been wanting to buy more actual books lately, just to admire the covers and pages and fill my bookshelves with their art and words.

I've been falling behind in my book-reading goals this year (find me on Goodreads!), although I'm still doing significantly better than I have in past years. I'm currently 4 books behind schedule, but I'm incredibly determined to actually complete my 36 book goal this year! I think my problem is that I'm reading rather large books...perhaps my goals should be page-based instead of book-based. To read 36 books means that a 200 page book and a 1,200 page book count as the same. That feels rather deflating at times.

To be honest, I should probably start reading books about babies. My days of pleasure reading might be over for a while. I should probably be educating myself on all of the joys and horrors of birth and child-raising. While I know these things are true, I can't help but pine for a cold, rainy day spent reading magical fairy tales or spirit-lifting memoirs. That daydream might also have to do with the fact that it's been 114+ degrees this week. Fall, how I miss thee.

Here are some of the books at the top of my wishlist. Someday, somehow, I will read them!

Longing for Paris | Sarah Mae

I can already tell this book speaks to me, long before I even begin to open the front cover. How often do I feel this way? Grateful and happy for my life and for my family, but often mesmerized, distracted, and aching for something more. It's the heart of wanderlust.

Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore | Robin Sloan

Books, intrigue, and magical curiosities. Can't think of a better happy read. And the book cover glows in the dark!

Garden Spells | Sarah Addison Allen

I'm drawn to this book because it centers on a magical family of women and their enchanted garden. Sisterhood, a lasting legacy, and magically powered fruit. It sounds delightful. It's also Sarah Addison Allen's debut novel, and I'm always fascinated by an author's first book.

The Accidental Highwayman | Ben Tripp

I discovered this book while listening to a podcast from my favorite author, Brandon Sanderson, and have wanted to read it ever since. It's everything I want in a book. Adventure, notoriety, accidental heroism, a rebellious princess, goblins, magic, danger, etc. etc.




























The Martian | Andy Weir

This book has been on my wishlist for a while, but I have to admit I've gained a renewed interest in it since it was announced that the movie is coming out, and will be starring Matt Damon. I think the book sounds wonderful and terrifying. I really can't wait to read it, then see it. (Always in that order).

The Storm Makers | Jennifer E. Smith

This story centers on twins Ruby and Simon, and Simon's sudden discovery that he is a Storm Marker - a member of a clandestine group of people entrusted with the power to control the weather. It sounds like an enjoyable young adult adventure, and it takes me back to the kinds of fantastical stories my dad always used to tell about my little brother and I. Sibling adventures are particularly nostalgic for me. Plus, I love the cover art.


Have you read any of these? If so, I'd love to know your review! What's on your wishlist?

novel dress: brandon sanderson

Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson // Galileo Embroidered Midi Dress

Brandon Sanderson has very quickly and easily become one of my favorite authors of all time. I recently finished his book Warbreaker, and because of the vibrant colors and societal impressions of fashion and dyes in that world I was inspired to create another Novel Dress post. This one features dresses from both Ruche and Modcloth, and is dedicated solely to the literary works of Sanderson.

I've only included books of his that I've actually read, although there are some that are missing from this list. To date I have read 12 of his stories (including 2 of his short stories and 3 of his novellas). The Emperor's Soul is one of his novellas that I have included here, because it's brilliant.

If you've never been introduced to the world(s) of Brandon Sanderson, there are a few things you should know about him. First of all, he's known for his incredible world-building skills and his talent with magic systems. He is endlessly creative. Secondly, he writes like a dang machine. He typically has 2-3 books being released every year, and those books range from light teen fiction to his epic fantasy series. He has written and published 30-40 books and stories in 10 years. The number varies depending on whether you count his short stories and graphic novels. Either way, jumpin' jehosaphat.

The last thing you should know about Sanderson is that he has his own literary universe, called the Cosmere, in which all of his fantasy books are based and connected. While you can easily read his books in any order and enjoy each world on its own, there's a much bigger, galactic-sized story happening behind the scenes if you desire to see it. There are hints and crossover characters and mind-blowing revelations all swirling around within the Cosmere, and it's a pretty thrilling fandom to be a part of. 

So go ahead and plan out your next trip to the bookstore to pick up a copy of The Way of Kings - but in the mean time, enjoy these fantastical novel dresses. :)

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson // Parfait Party Dress

Elantris by Brandon Sanderson // Emma Maxi Dress

Legion by Brandon Sanderson // Aubree Dress

The Final Empire (Mistborn book 1) by Brandon Sanderson // Peachy Queen Dress

The Emperor's Soul by Brandon Sanderson // Goldie's Groove Dress

The Well of Ascension (Mistborn book 2) by Brandon Sanderson // Endless Entertainment Dress

Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson // Amirah Maxi Dress

**see all novel dress posts**

novel dress: be bright

Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli // Martina Printed Dress

This collection of Novel Dresses is inspired by books that encourage their characters (and the individuals that read them) to be strong, honest, loving, and true to themselves. My book club finished Stargirl back in March, and that's probably the main inspiration for this series. Stargirl is a charming and interesting outside look at the fictional life of a very unique young girl in the midst of a normal (and un-accepting of her peculiarity) high school environment.

The rest of these featured books have various themes and content skirting along the same lines, some of them covering more controversial subjects like interracial marriage (a poignant side story in Holes) and cloning (in The House of the Scorpion) while others focus more on lighthearted themes of uniqueness and the power of words (like The Story of Ferdinand and Haroun and the Sea of Stories). While The Order of the Phoenix is one of my least favorite books in existence, and reading it ruined my young life for many-a-day, it does have a bright side: the character of Luna Lovegood is introduced, and she is as bright as it gets. A total gem in a very dark place. I chose to feature the book for her beloved quirkiness.

We often experience pressures from society and from others, but these books are great illustrations of the value and importance of sticking to your guns and staying strong in your beliefs. Love, loyalty, strength, belief, happiness.

Quite basically, be yourself, ladies and gents.

(Bonus: Take $30 off $100+ at Ruche this week, including all of these dresses, to celebrate their new lookbook "An Afternoon Alfresco"!)

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll // First Love Heart Dress

Coraline by Neil Gaiman // Froisse Scalloped Dress

Ferdinand by Munro Leaf // Tuscan Sun Printed Dress

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling // Rahima Floral Dress

Haroun and the Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie // Building Blocks Dress

The Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling // Margherite Dress

Holes by Louis Sachar // Desert Sunset Maxi Dress

The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer // Nastro Dress

The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle // Rising Moon Maxi Dress

**see all novel dress posts**

novel dress: teen fiction

the fault in our stars by john green // ariel colorblocked dress

One of the funniest things about teen fiction is that the majority of readers I know that are indulging in that genre are definitely not teens. Because really, young adult (YA) literature is actually just a catch-all for a bizarre in-between category of story. It doesn't seem to strictly adhere to its age assignment. Everyone from teendom and beyond can relate to coming-of-age tales, because we've all been there. They're still applicable and relatable to a much wider audience than ages 12-18. It's a tricky category, really. These books are not 1,000 page epic fantasies, but they're not really children's books either. There's probably a better name for this genre somewhere, but I'm not sure what it would be.

In my last book club in Virginia, we would often lament that the "YA" label can take a lot away from the expectations of reading. It turns some people off from reading these books altogether. Sometimes it even seems like a downgrade - a truly extraordinary book that gets put in the "YA" category seems to be getting the short end of the stick. It seems like this genre is simply too large to contain all of the vastly different books that are included in it. What characterizes a book to be young adult? Is it the content, the age of the characters, the quality of writing? The answer is that young adult books are so named because they focus on the problems and experiences of youth. Even so, books like The Book Thief are jumbled into this nebulous category, but I would never describe that book as juvenile. Reading it at age 25 pretty much changed my life. To be honest, I'm not sure I could have handled it or truly treasured it 10 years ago.

Regardless, young adult/juvenile/teen fiction is prevalent and well-loved in the world, which I am happy about. I am an advocate for reading at all ages. This post is mostly for us old folk lovelies that continue to read these YA books despite their ageist tendencies, and continue to love them for their virtues, their lessons and their flaws.

(Click here to see all novel dress posts!). 

harry potter and the goblet of fire by j.k. rowling // full of light metallic dress

sisterhood of the traveling pants by ann brashares // daylight blossom dress

the giver by lois lowry // on the riviera dress

the princess diaries by meg cabot // star hollow dress

the hunger games by suzanne collins // twinkling stars metallic dress

tuck everlasting by natalie babbitt // polly heart print dress

twilight by stephenie meyer // city striped dress

the chronicles of chrestomanci by diana wynne jones // sunset dance dress

divergent by veronica roth // manhattan skyway dress

the velveteen girl

Once upon a time...

Yesterday's outfit and the bright prickly green of the desert in the budding Spring had me feeling like a character in a fairy story. There's something magical about the colors of the desert at sunset at this time of year. Green, grey, purple, blue, pink, yellow. These ethereal feelings might also have something to do with the book I'm currently reading, which is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast by Robin McKinley. It has me in an imaginative spirit. I recently went on a book-seeking voyage in my old room, and found a small pile of unread books that I had collected 10-15 years ago. I used to love wandering through Barnes and Noble and picking out new books. Nowadays I read mostly on my Kindle and choose books by popularity or recommendation - I miss choosing something based entirely on cover art, character names and instinct. I'm finally getting around to reading some of those old choices, time capsules of my first serious reading years. 

I like to think that maybe I was channeling a little royal Beast yesterday with the deep velvet dress. Yes, I wore velvet - I know you're shocked. You and me both. If anyone's to blame, it's Greer from Reign. I think maybe her green velvet dress finally broke my resolve to be anti-velvet forever.

The truth is, this velvet dress felt like a cushion for my fragile state of being. Like wrapping myself in something truly luxurious, it made me feel dressed up and pretty and beloved. It's silly how much clothing can mean to me sometimes. I'm sure I'm not the only one who can feel transformed by what I wear. The last two weeks have been largely pajama-clad, and while the solitude and relaxation were needed and cherished, there comes a point when you have to put on your boots and walk outside of yourself again. 

Dress (similar)/Blouse: Ruche, Sweater: Target

I tell my story in bits by blogs and texts and memories, and reflecting back on my life is always surreal. It goes by so fast, doesn't it? Time heals all wounds and it goes ever on and on. It helps to know that the world is a big place, and I am infinitely small. That even the earth is just a speck of thriving life, and it's not all there is. It's easy to be overwhelmed and to forget the big picture. To stay in that pajama-clad universe (introverts unite) and disappear within. But life is not a wish granting factory because it isn't (shouldn't be) a selfish endeavor. Living is only worth it when shared with others. I am just a velveteen rabbit on that journey for realness. A worn and torn beloved being, made real by love.

I think that's the magic. I obviously don't believe in fairy tales (much), but I do believe that there's power in lying on the cold ground and trying to count the stars, feeling the odd emotional sensation of staring into an endless space. Realizing how gargantuan the universe is and how teeny tiny you are. A pinprick in someone else's telescope. That's the only way we can ever let go of the small things and become better, realer people. To discover that there's a Creator and we are purposeful. That life is short and time swallows it in great gulps. But it is marvelous and worthwhile. Every single moment, every single life, every single teeny joy. Things like coffee and velvet dresses and Spring colors. Fragrant creosote flowers and good books and cool breezes.

Pack up these moments in your arms and carry them with you. Gather others into your heart and love them. Sacrifice and embrace and become a beloved. It's a simple world of velveteen people, and we're all made real by love.