lean, mean, 2015

Some early thoughts on the new year:

New years have a bit of magic to them. What is it about January 1st that propels people to do things they've been wanting to do for a long time? To make promises and decisions and resolutions. I'm not quite sure, but there's something to it.

I've written about new year's resolutions before - I don't really put much stock into them. But I do know that this new year's day was special to us. For one, it was our fourth anniversary - and it brought with it a lot of decisions. Decisions about our marriage, about the future, about who we want to be and what we want to do. Decisions about love. It was like we had been butting our heads against a wall for the past six months, and somehow crossing over into 2015 led us straight to the doorway.

I don't quite understand that. I suppose the head-butting is necessary for growth, and the doorway was invisible for so long for a good reason. In any case, it feels great to be here. Of course we still have a lot more to go - we still have monumental decisions that aren't made, promises to fulfill, disappointments to deal with and a lot of waiting, waiting, waiting. In fact, I think anyone else on the outside could look and say, literally nothing has changed, you guys. But something within us has shifted. Our level of contentment, commitment, and resolve has changed. We finally talked things out and said things out loud that had been splintering us. It hurt a lot, but it also healed so much faster afterward.

Last night we sat together and just wrote out some goals. Financial, physical, and personal. Nothing insane or out-of-reach, but very basic goals that we're hoping to conquer this year. It was a time for us to sit and reflect and try to put into the words the things that we want as our priorities. To get our goals on the same page, and high-five, and give ourselves an extra boost of inspiration and teamwork.

I'm proud of us, and I'm really excited for the lean, mean, fighting machine that is 2015.
It's going to be a great year.

26 before 27

I think 25 has been my favorite age so far. It's the perfect age, really. I love it.

And today is my last day of it. Thank goodness it's a Saturday because I have got to do things! I've got to paint the town a bright color or kick up my boots or something!
I'm about to turn 26. And. Yup, I'm starting to panic.
I don't think I really like the idea of being in my late twenties. Because this is official, now! There's no avoiding it. I'm crossing that line into real adulthood. Of the "you're old" variety. It's a very different line than before, I can feel it in my slowing metabolism.

I've wanted to make this list for a few years now, but never got around to making it. So to cheer myself up and to also encourage myself to get excited about a productive year of happiness and change and goal-making, I've decided to create a list of 26 things to do before I turn 27. 

1. create the perfect lavender latte thank you, Verismo machine 12.20.14
2. find a signature scent classic burberry 10.6.14
3. aim to write 500 words per day still writing - slowly but surely
4. find a house! we bought a house! 6.15.15
5. travel to a new country
6. learn how to braid my own hair
7. go to the renaissance festival opening weekend! 2.7.15
8. get my nose pierced
9. visit colin and victoria they came to AZ! 4.25.15
10. learn to speed read
11. commence the gatsby club
12. visit the grand canyon with colinoria! 4.30.15
13. make homemade macarons eureka! 10.4.15
14. ride in a hot air balloon
15. dye the ends of my hair purple and I love it! 11.26.14
16. get a video-camera to film our adventures working on iPhone video skills! 
17. achieve my health {weight} goals MADE A BABY INSTEAD! Due 12/30/15. #schantababy
18. read 36 books 25 - I'm getting there!
19. be more relationally intentional {darn you, telephone} Getting a little better - I've even called some people this year. On my own. Without being coerced.
20. get a pixie cut!
21. finally watch casablanca with my dad
22. complete a first book draft
23. go on a camping trip
24. plant a backyard garden
25. decorate a friends-inspired kitchen
26. roadtrip to a new state 4th of July in Utah! #schanclanUT15

Throughout the year I'll return to this list to cross things off.
Just like new year's resolutions, there is a pretty big chance I won't finish this list. My motivation for doing this isn't to make a bunch of empty promises - it's more about being intentional to set aside time and really think about what I'd love to accomplish this year. Laying out a list of wishes.

This list is a mix of new things and classic givens. For instance, going to the Renaissance Festival is obviously going to happen. It's basically giving myself a freebie. I went to the Ren Fest (it's what us cool people call it. I use the word cool very loosely) every year growing up, and moving to Virginia broke that streak. I have missed it quite fiercely. I can't wait for Spring!
There are also the new and more challenging things on my list. Some of them I'll chicken out on, or decide against, or totally change my mind about - maybe instead of making macarons I'll just buy a dozen of them from a cafe and call it a day. But in making this list, I realized a lot of things I've often thought about doing or trying or learning that manage to slip through the cracks of daily life. Like braiding my hair! Eegads, I really just need to learn to do that. It'll only take a few YouTube videos and practice runs, but it's something I always forget to try. Now I have a list and a mental note to cross it off.
Many of these items will be success stories, and I'm pretty excited to find out which ones. 

resolute

How do you feel about New Year's Resolutions?

From my experience, most of you will be lamenting your failed promises right around now. 10-15 days after the commencement of the new year (or sometimes more like 5-10). 

I made some pretty hefty resolutions last year, and (shocking) I didn't keep up with any of them. 

Not to be a downer or anything -- maybe some of you will actually stay true to your resolutions! But oftentimes I find them to be rather empty, which is why I usually don't participate in the whole charade. I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure -- making big promises of change that I know deep down I won't keep. 

This past year I found myself feeling overwhelmed and bogged down by all of things I had set in front of myself, including things that I love, like reading, blogging and crafting.

In 2013, I only read 17 of the 36 books I wanted to read. I all but abandoned my Etsy shop - I didn't make any of the big milestone achievements I was hoping to. 

Top (shop!) / Coated Pants (shop!): Ruche
(trying out the coated jeans I mentioned here!)

You know what I did do, though?
I completely changed my style. I started a fashion blog. I went to London and Paris, and walked on Abbey Road. I bought a painting in front of the Notre Dame. I wrote a daily love journal to my husband. I became a life group leader for our church. I dyed the tips of my hair red. I got way better at playing volleyball, thanks to an incredible summer. I met Needtobreathe. I lost ten pounds. I made new friends. I conquered fears. I made countless road trips to the mountains, to historical sites, to new cities. I stopped biting my nails. I discovered new music. I turned 25.

Wouldn't it be awesome if we celebrated the end of each year for everything we accomplished, or even the things we failed at but learned from? 

Maybe on December 31st, instead of saying "I will get to my goal weight," "I am totally going to give up soda", or "I am going to read 100 books this year!", we could write out a list of all the things we already did without even realizing they were important to us. The unspoken resolutions.

Because the bottom line is, people do what's most important to them. Every time. You can say you want to lose ten pounds, but when you have a choice between working out and watching TV, and you choose the TV, the TV is your priority. If you wanted to work out that badly, you'd do it. 

If you wanted to go on a trip that badly, you'd save your money for it -- you'd give up spending it on coffee, clothes, movies, eating out, and you would make it happen.

I think oftentimes the best change comes from looking to the past, to the historical patterns of your life, and rectifying those mistakes and celebrating those successes. The future is built on those things.

I don't think New Year's Resolutions are bad or evil, but I think most people set themselves up for failure by feeling this renewed sense of self in the party moment -- convincing themselves they will change when they've never even really figured out why they've never succeeded in the past. 

So here's to 2013 -- to all of the times I said yes, to all of the adventures, for the books I did read, for the creative moments and the spontaneous moments.

And here's to 2014 -- to all of the things I will do, most of which are still a beautiful mystery.