house hunting emotions (as told by troy barnes)

My husband and I have entered into our first house-buying experience, and I'm suddenly realizing I'm not the greatest at handling this kind of exciting, stressful and emotional journey. I've always been a homebody, and the two of us are probably the most sentimental humans in Arizona. We walk into a house that's for sale and we're like, oh well hello there, destiny, thanks for bringing us to our new place of solace and happiness. The problem is, when it's listed way out of our budget or sells before we can make an offer, we might take it a little too hard. It feels personal. Like we've just been betrayed by the very destiny that promised us so much.

I figured Troy Barnes, a character on the TV show Community, was the best man for the job of illustrating our complex emotions of the past few weeks.

We hadn't actually planned on buying a house this early. But we came across a few local properties, and our interest was piqued. The wheels started turning. What if we bought a fixer upper, lived in it for a few years while we fixed it up, then resold it to provide us with enough money to build our own house (which is our ultimate dream)?

We saw the house for the first time a week and a half ago. We knew right away it was the perfect type of dingy, in need of our tender love and care but not too far gone. It was priced low; most of the houses around our city at the same price are half the size. It had only been listed for one day, so we were confident with our offer and waited the necessary 10 days before the bank would tell us we were officially home owners.

But then, over the weekend, our realtor told us that the bank was rejecting all of the offers. There are a total of 3, we found out, so our initial feelings of being the special chosen ones quickly vanished. The bank wanted our highest and our best. We could raise the offer, raise the earnest money, waive the inspection period (or shorten it)...

Our confidence was shaken and we had no idea what to do. The market began rising as we twiddled our thumbs and lost sleep. Even if we raise the offer, will the other offers raise theirs as well? How can we be sure we beat them to the highest bid? Why couldn't this be a personal interview, where we charm The Bank and make them love us? Is there any way I could send The Bank a basket of mini muffins to endear them to us? Is this a sign? And if so, what's it pointing at? Are signs even a thing? 

So many questions! So much doubt! In the back of our minds we kept telling ourselves that everything will work out either way - if this isn't the house, then we'll move on with our lives and continue saving our money. If it is, then we'll get it...right? 

The Bank is impossible to mind read, unfortunately, but we decided to just do everything available to us. Raise the offer, raise the earnest money, shorten the inspection time. I tried to also send the mini muffins, but they don't like baked goods; they only eat pure gold and our hopes and dreams.

We submitted the new offer this morning. So now we're left to wait again. We'll hopefully know by tomorrow, but while I sit here typing at work it's all just like

and

It's stressful not knowing the future. I know we're not the only human beings with this problem, but it would be so much easier knowing whether or not this is the house. I'm not even sure if there's such a thing as the anything. While I believe God cares about the smallest desires of our hearts, I am not positive that he always tells us direct answers to the decisions we make. Things like where we go to school, or what we have for lunch, or what job we take. Sometimes there are clear answers, but sometimes there aren't. In this time of uncertainty and stress, I have to remember that the future is taken care of whether we're directly lead to purchasing this house or passing it by. We've done everything we can to make it happen, because in our minds it's the house - but dealing with the loss of it will not break us. It will simply be another story to tell.

why we camp

When I was little our family would prepare for "family camp" every spring. All of my aunts and uncles and cousins would pack up their trucks and campers and my grandparents would hop in their RV and we'd all meet somewhere around the border of Arizona and California for a full weekend of endless play. 

The sun was hot, the water was cool, the inner-tube was called Big Bertha and our sunburns were our constant companions. The war wounds of a childhood summer. 

We'd hike and discover and get oh so dirty, we'd stay far away from the grassy bit of marsh that was rumored to house snapping turtles. We'd definitely stay away from strangers (but maybe we'd giggle at the cute ones), and we would build elaborate sandcastles in between begging for our turn on the jet ski. 

Our little group campsite was packed with tents. The boys would absolutely try to sneak up on the girl tents and try to scare us. They needn't bother, though, because generally we were quite talented at scaring ourselves. 

I remember carefully packing my belongings, which included a bathing suit, various comfy clothes and my walkman, the only technology I possessed at the time. It held Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On because obviously that was the ballad of my life. Listen, repeat. Listen, repeat. 

Wait there's a repeat button? My walkman is so fancy!

On Labor Day, my husband and I planned out our very first camping trip together. It brought back a lot of memories. I hadn't been camping since those sweet summer days of childhood.

To our great shock and appall, we couldn't get anyone to come camping with us. Nobody likes camping! Where are all the free spirits? Where is the nostalgia? Is camping something people outgrow?

Luckily we roped in my little brother and a couple from our church who would join us halfway through the weekend, but we still felt pretty discouraged. Camping is an American pastime. It's brilliant and wild and free and unplugged. It's also so easy, right? At least, that's how I remember it. 

Needless to say, it was quite different as an adult. Wait, camping costs money? Why in the sam hill does this tent refuse to function? What is all this stuff? What does "percolator" mean? 

Despite the little challenges and our multiple whoops-es and moments of dear lord we need to write our parents a thank you letter, I am a firm believer in camping and chasing out that wild heart in us. 

This is why we camp, ya'll.

1. COMMUNITY

Even as an introvert I absolutely love group gatherings. I prefer smaller ones, of course, but there's something incredibly refreshing about joining together with people you love over a meal. 

Camping is just a string of days connected by meals. How about we wake up and have breakfast? How about we laze around until lunch? How about we eat an entire bag of chips while we dream about dinner? Don't forget to snack on this granola while you collect more firewood. 

It's just a dreamy commune. You cook the baked beans, I'll do the dishes. Togetherness, camping style. Let me spray your back with bug spray! Oh, it's my pleasure!

The entire experience is dappled with groups of other families, too. You can sit around your fire and hear the distant giggling of children (which sounds a bit creepy, but really, it's delightful), and catch wisps of your neighbor's Latin music across the trees. Everyone doing their thang, separate but together in the joys of weekend bliss. 

2. HAMMOCKS

Holy happy body cradle, hammocks are amazing. My husband is an angel and found this striped hippy hammock for $20 at Walmart. 

I feel as if my years of life have slowly erased the unadulterated joy of hammocks from my memory until this year. We were reunited and it all came rushing back. I want a hammock in every room of my house. Sure, they're hazardous. Sure, the ropes can slip off the tree and you can fall flat on your back (just ask my brother), but I promise you they are doing their darndest to make your life a friggin' fairyland. Lie back in your cocoon, little one, let the sunshine lull you right to sleep. 

3. FRESH AIR

Don't try and tell me you don't enjoy fresh air. Nobody walks out their front door on a beautiful day and says, GROSS! AIR! GAH!

I hate when people say "I don't really enjoy the outdoors". Okay, ya hermit, the world doesn't like you either. Go back inside lest you die from blue skies and sunshine.

Camping doesn't have to be hiking and paddle-boating and running around in circles just for the heck of sweating like a barbarian. I like camping best if it involves no exercise. It's totally an option. It's an option I demand, actually. Because hammocks. 

4. HEAR ME ROAR

Perhaps the best part of camping is that it's rather rewarding. There are so many opportunities for creativity and innovation. Like my husband's hand-washing station (a family ingenuity), which was constructed using a gallon jug of water, a golf tee, some hosiery, and a bar of soap. You poke a hole in the front of the jug using the golf tee as a plug, then plop the bar of soap in the hose and hang it from the jug handle. Then you tie the entire jug at face-height around a tree. Unplug, rinse, lather, rinse, plug. 

Cleanliness is the most exquisite of camping accomplishments. 

When you finally do get that tent up, it is the best darn tent in the universe. Camping is just like creating an awesome blanket fort in your living room, but it's outside and actually habitable for days. Your amateur 5-year-old self is so jealous. All those homey touches and hard-earned adjustments have swelled you with pride. That tarp ceiling perfectly shades the card table. That clan of spiders plotting your demise under the stone benches didn't stand a chance against that flaming stick.

When you sit down to eat that fire-cooked meal, you are king. When you close your eyes and can smell nothing but earthy smoke and roasting marshmallows, life has never been sweeter. 

In the cool evenings your sweatshirt is your best friend, your makeshift bed is a cozy hideaway of s'more-filled dreams, and your campsite is a place of ragged victory. 

5. WILD AND FREE AND FIRE

There is no dress code. You forego makeup (if you want to), you don a weathered baseball cap, you unplug, sticking the phone in your suitcase and replacing it with a great book. No pressures, no deadlines, no expectations. You chat and laugh and play board games. You brush your teeth because this isn't prison, guys, it's just a woodsy weekend.
Lookout because I'm gonna drop some knowledge. Unplugging is one of the most incredible gifts we can give to ourselves, our friends and our family. I'll refrain from saying "in this day and age" but you know what I'm sayin' up in here. Put the phones away, make it up as you go along, tear yourself away from Google for a sec and try to answer a few questions by yourself.
Bring out your inner caveman and throw the corn straight on the fire. Eat 517 s'mores because it's good for your heart (not true) and soul (definitely true). Don't let s'mores become obsolete, youngins.
Go on a journey to find the stars and think of stories you haven't told in a really, really long time. Reconnect and recharge and be wild and free and fire.

It's why we camp.

Cara Box: seasons of life

Happy Saturday, friends!

This past month I decided to participate in something called Cara Box.
For those of you who haven't heard of it before, head on over to this link where you can read all about this fun program started by Kaitlyn over at Wifessionals.
(You can also check out the Cara Box button on the right side of this blog to link to it.)

The purpose is summed up in the tagline, "make friends. receive gifts. share encouragement."

You're paired up with two different bloggers from all over the US (although you can also do it if you live outside the US, and if you don't have a blog! You're just paired with others like you), and are given the opportunity to get to know them by following their blog and exchanging emails. At the end of the assigned time (which is now 3 months), you send them a gift box!
Each month has a different theme, and they've done so many fun ones in the past! Things like nautical, circus, holiday sparkle, etc. This month we were assigned to each other based on our "season of life" (age bracket, kids/no kids, etc.). The goal was to find out everything you could about the other person, and try and compose a box that was perfectly them in every way.
I met two amazing girls, Amanda of Keeping Up with the Jayneses, and Shana of Keep It Simple.

I can honestly say I would be friends with both of them face-to-face. They are both such amazing people, and I loved finding out more about them and getting to know them. We exchanged quirky questions about each other and found out we had a lot in common! From favorite colors to favorite TV shows, to funny childhood collections and similar guilty pleasures.

Shana was the one who sent me my box, and I couldn't wait to open it!

She included a really sweet note, explaining all of the fun things she included in my box.
She totally hit the nail on the head! She included crafting supplies, a Christmas ornament representing the many cows that reside in Indiana (because my husband and I collect Christmas ornament from our travels!), a big notepad for jotting down blogging ideas, and a salad cookbook to balance out our guilty pleasure of eating out all the time! One of the greatest parts? She included a toy for our sweet kittens!

I think the piece I'm most enamored with is the little wreath-carrying cow.
I adore Christmas ornaments and can't wait to include this on this year's tree!

I can't wait to use the new ribbon and the sweet pastel buttons for new Posies by Cait projects!

Thank you so much Shana, for all the thought you put into this box! I love every bit of it and it was so wonderful getting to know you. I look forward to keeping up with you and maintaining our blog friendship!

I would highly recommend participating in the next Cara Box :) sign ups will be up on Wifessionals sometime after Labor Day! It's such a wonderful way of getting to know other bloggers, and to get plugged into a sweet community of encouraging women. It's like a blogger's Christmas!

(Luna and Evangeline sure enjoyed it!)