what might have been {frocktober, day 25}

Remixes: bow top / dress

Today, October 26th, was the due date for our first baby. We called her Poppy, because that's the size she was when we lost her. We'll never know if she was a boy or a girl on this side of heaven, but she's still a very intricate part of us. Sometimes, at the oddest and strangest of moments, one of us will turn to the other and just say, I miss Poppy. She changed the way we experience sorrow, our love for each other, our marriage, our family. I've mentioned before how I have been dreading this day. Now that it's here, I feel a very solid sense of painful gratitude. It's a relief to be here in a way, to be facing this dreaded milestone and still be intact. 

Carrying our son William has been such a complex variety of layered joy, fear, hope, sorrow, excitement, love. It's the dichotomy of tears. My husband showed up to work this morning with a bouquet of wildflowers, some soil, and a packet of poppy seeds for us to plant a garden of poppies together in our new home. I honestly can't think of anything more wonderful than having a garden of poppies. It also makes me want to cry. He also brought a card that he had written both to me and to Poppy. It was perfect and it broke my heart. We cried together in the car, and I have never felt so grateful to have him by my side. His heart is a privilege to know. He loves our babies. He is the best dad. I cannot wait to see him in action when William comes into the world. 

What might have been is a cruel daydream. But today is not a day to dwell on tragedy or loss, but to draw closer together and bask in the happiness she brought to our lives in such a short time. I like to say her life was vibrant. It was. It still is. We spend our time now dreaming of our future garden, and loving on both of our babies with all our might. 

weekend frocks {frocktober, day 10+11}

This weekend has been a lot of pizza, make-believe, giggles, dirt, swinging, and laughter. We've been with our nieces the whole time and being with kids changes everything! First and foremost, it's currently 9:32pm as I'm typing this and it feels like straight-up midnight. I don't think I've ever been this tired in my life! When they go to sleep at 8pm I'm barely keeping my eyes open. I applaud anyone who adopts or has twins or anything that causes them to simultaneously gain two toddlers all at once. It is quite a wonderful kind of exhaustion. And we're not even doing it full-time! Needless to say, we are grateful for parents everywhere and also mom, thank you!

What you can't see in these photos are the smears of mud, chalk, pizza sauce, and boogers smeared on my dresses. I am proud to say that these have been the most victorious days of Frocktober to date.

1. Coral Dress: Ruche (remixed 1, 2), Cat Cardigan: LOFT
Star Dress: Ruche

signs of spring

I don't think I've ever been this anxious for Spring to arrive.

Since we moved to Virginia, it seems like Fall has been the season to capture my undivided attention. Fall is the season that is most elusive, most exciting for an Arizona girl like me. We don't have the bright yellows and oranges of changing leaves in the west coast, the sight of crisp apple orchards and bright Autumn hues, and the feel of Thanksgiving around the corner.
I distinctly remember a man telling me last year, "Just wait until Spring. In the Spring is when Lynchburg is truly beautiful."
I'm not sure I believed him, especially since I was mentally jumping into a giant pile of Fall leaves in the corner of my eye.

But this year, I'm paying attention. I'm seeing it. I'm feeling it.

Dress: J. Crew, Cardigan, old: (similar!), 
Shoes: Ruche (shop!), Earrings: Betsey Johnson (shop!)
Bangle: Kate Spade

My new self-appointed Spring trend is small pastel bags.
I found a small rectangle lavender bag, which was perfect for our trip to London and Paris.
While we were in London, I found two more small bags on sale in a great shop called Primark. One is a little circle bag, in a taupe hue with little gold studs. The other is a pretty mint blue with a tassel on the zipper.
I've never been much of a bag person, but I'm starting to be!
These little guys will be perfect for light and Spring-y outfits. All I need are my sunglasses, lip gloss and wallet and I'm good to go!

Bright white and pink blossoms have appeared all over the city, and now even the trees are beginning to sprout their little lime green leaves. It's such a powerfully fresh image, and everywhere I look I'm inspired.

What are your favorite things about Spring? :)

wishing for springtime

A few days ago, the hubby and I snuck away for a fun late afternoon dinner after work.
He's been gone all week (in Chicago for a Mediation Tournament through the law school), so before we got home and had to get started on the laundry and the packing we decided to splurge at Texas Roadhouse.
That may seem like a weird date place, but it has become one of our go-to spots...why?

1. Hot rolls and cinnamon butter (free!)
2. Peanuts (free!)
3. House salad and chili (cheap!)

Haha. We love going there for a casual date night. It's perfect!

It was finally sunshiney enough to feel at home in bright colors, and I got to wear the first pair of sandals I've worn all season.
Of course, it's chilly again today, so it's back to tights and sweaters.
But we took a few seconds to take some outfit photos before our date. :)

Top: Primark in London (similar, similar),
Bottoms: Old Navy, (similar), Bangle: Kate Spade, Earrings: Cookie Lee

I'm in love with colored denim, and I don't see the affair dying down any time soon.
I'm happy to say I will be sporting colorful pants for years to come.
I think this spring is the perfect time to get my mint pair hemmed and ready for wear!

Cheers (and prayers) to warmer weather this weekend. :)