thanksgiving

Dress: Ruche, Necklace (remixed): LOFT

Despite the fact that it didn't really feel like Thanksgiving this year because I didn't watch any Thanksgiving Friends episodes, I still have an enormously long list of things to be thankful for. And I also dyed the ends of my hair purple, so check that off the list!

It has been a difficult few months which makes Thanksgiving all the more necessary. It's just a reminder, really. Gratitude and appreciation are daily intentions, but Thanksgiving is a feast to celebrate those good qualities. Actually sitting around with family and friends, declaring the abundance of blessing. I'm personally in favor of instituting more feasts into the year, maybe monthly, but I'm not the one who cooks and prepares them so I should probably tread lightly. Also, monthly feasts would be a terrible idea for my health goals this year. 

We had a marvelous day split between my husband's family and mine, plenty of good food and wonderful people. We were missing a few siblings on both sides, which made us feel a bit incomplete. But one of my favorite things about Thanksgiving is the happy swarm of extended family that we're able to hug and visit with. The families are growing so much, it makes it incredibly difficult to be all together at one time. It's one of those bittersweet tinges of growth. 

This year I was (am) abundantly thankful for:

my faith

my husband

arizona

my parents (and generosity)

coffee

friends, new and old

an incredible family

sisterhood

coffee

dresses

long-distance friendships

mexican food

good books (and my book club!)

a job that i love

cats

the growth found in change

the stamps of life

writing

coffee

making goals and having dreams

the sound of my parents' christmas tree

travel memories

chocolate-covered pretzels

fabulous movies

benedict cumberbatch

beautiful music 

good humor

and so much more...

Gratitude is such a funny thing. It's easily overlooked, isn't it? If we truly sat down and did as Andy Griffith requested and counted our blessings, they would be incredibly overwhelming. The more I sit here, the more things I can think of that I love and appreciate in my life. And yet darkness feels so much denser than the light. We get easily pulled down, easily discouraged, and over time we very easily forget.

Gratitude should be an action. It's a quality that we have to define for ourselves. Perhaps some people are naturally more thankful than others, but I happen to think it takes a lot of hard work for each of us. Gratitude is defined by a readiness. Readiness to be kind. Readiness to show appreciation. Readiness to see the light. It isn't easy but it's a beautiful, contagious kind of alertness. 

We are told to be ready and prepared, and I think part of that is to always be ready to give thanks. Always. Let the words of gratitude be literally on the edge of your lips, saturating your tongue and your eyes and your ears at all times. If gratitude was glitter, I pray to be a dang disco ball. Wouldn't that be lovely? A party of disco balls. I wanna be those people. Don't you?

the last crystal

Destiny seems like a strong word when you're talking about a small token of desire. A token like a necklace.

But I don't really know how else to describe a series of events like this one....

In November we went to the mountains with another couple. It was such a beautiful fall, and we couldn't wait to spend a little time away!

Her family owns a beautiful house in Blowing Rock, NC -- there's really not much to say about the weekend except that it was absolute perfection. 

Board games by the fire, leaves turning, stunning vistas, ice cream, coffee, shopping.

In town there's a great strip of outlet stores, and we decided to go there on our last day. 

This may be a huge shocker, but us girls wanted to shop a lot longer than the boys wanted to...their patience was growing a little thin. Right around the time they started dozing off on the couches in LOFT. 

I was, of course, the last one to be rushing to finish up -- I ended up getting only one pair of pants because I was in panic-mode and didn't want to buy stuff I wasn't even sure I wanted. I'm guilty of that way too often!

With Dusty following close behind, shielding my eyes from any further distractions, he cowed me into the checkout line and I hastily flung the pants onto the counter.

Once the cashier rang me up, I went to pay and suddenly noticed her ensemble. So cute! A LOFT sweater, of course. It was nearing the official time to be sparkly and festive, and she was wearing a maroon sweater with the most amazing necklace ever. It was so sparkly on her, I just had to comment : I love your necklace!

She smiled, I think it's actually right behind you!

Oh yes. There it was. Hanging in the jewelry section that I hadn't had time to browse.

It's such a horrible feeling, regret.

I saw it hanging there, the little tag sticking up. $8.00. 

I think Dusty saw the look in my eye because he seemed to raise in stature and his eyes said, don't you dare. Our friends were waiting by the door and I started to sweat.

We got in the car and I seriously considered yelling apologies as I ran back into the store before anyone could stop me. But, alas, it was too late. I had surrendered.
We went back to the cabin to enjoy our last few hours, then drove back to Virginia and bid farewell to an amazing mountain weekend.

Non-buyer's guilt is real, though. It's real. 

Obviously the story doesn't really end there.
The first weekend in January we went back with our friends to the mountains, (and almost died in a crazy snowstorm, but that's a different story), went back to the outlet mall, and I walked back into LOFT and that feeling of sadness still lingered.
Of course, it's an outlet store. Things come and go and change and filter out like crazy. There was a cute new striped sweater in the window that said Bonjour, so I decided it would be my fun purchase for the day if I could find it. The necklace was something from my past that I wasn't going to let ruin my day.
I kept it simple, tried some things on, and was the first at the cash register. My friend was still shopping so I felt at ease browsing the jewelry section.
I saw a few cute necklaces, but was suddenly blinded by something shocking and beautiful.
There. Behind a stack of other unremarkable necklaces. Was the necklace. 
It was there! After all this time, one little straggler was left behind, perused but never bought, considered but never taken home. It was there waiting for me.
The last necklace.

See?

It was destiny.

the leopard cardigan

I think I've mentioned before that I've been consigning a lot of clothes this year.
Slowly cleaning out the excess, trying to be proactive and not lend power to my natural pack-rat tendencies.
For the most part it has been a really positive experience. My closet is lighter, I get a few extra bucks, I feel freer. The possibility of me being an old lady hoarder was slowly ebbing away.

But then something terrible happened. 

It was a few weeks ago.
I saw this Instagram post by another blogger I love, and thought, cute outfit! (See her full outfit post here). Love the green, love the leopard. Fun play on patterns.
Then I realized, bingo! I have a similar ensemble sitting in my closet, waiting to be worn.

You see, leopard is my love. It was a romance that struck early on in life, and that kind of nostalgia seems to last for a lifetime.
Naturally, when my bachelorette party came along, my best friend/maid of honor chose leopard and sequins as the main dress code. It was a fabulous event!
While we were out shopping for the perfect leopard dress, we found a white leopard cardigan and grabbed it as a possible backup in case I wanted a glittery dress with a leopard accent.
I ended up finding a fun leopard dress and one of my other friends wore the white leopard cardigan, and it's been sitting in my closet ever since. I've never actually worn it before, but it has been sitting there, happily reminding me of that fun-filled night surrounded by my best girl friends.
Because I am a pack rat and I'm way too sentimental about everything. That's just the way it is.

I went to my closet to grab the necessary ingredients for this fantastic outfit, and the cardigan was gone. 
I blinked in confusion, knowing exactly where it should be. I knew it by heart. Third in from the right side, right next to that brown cardigan with the rhinestones all over it that I've had since before junior high.
Maybe...could it be in the laundry?
I checked, even though I knew I hadn't worn it ever, so the chances of it being in the laundry were highly doubtful.
The panic was rising in my chest, because I knew what I had done.
I had thrown it into the black hole of consignment. 
I sprinted out to the car, hoping that it would somehow be tucked in the trunk somewhere. That it had magically avoided being in the big bag of giveaways I had taken there days before.
No such luck. I had no one to blame but myself.

Despite this, I went back to the consignment shop, probably looking like a crazed person as I stared shrewdly and expertly thumbed through every rack like a private investigator out to catch a thief. I even imagined some weird lie I could tell, that would persuade the owner to help me find it and take it back.
I found every other sweater and cardigan I had donated, except for the white leopard one.

For some reason this moment made me want to run out into the rain and scream,
"I KNEW IT! I told you all it would be this way! THIS IS WHY I KEEP EVERYTHING!"

Instead, I took a slow walk in the rain, basking in the tragic irony of it all.
I got in my car and told myself to keep it all together, despite my shattered hopes.
It's kind of hard to be that upset when I'm the one who made the mistake.
Or maybe...the fact that I'm to blame made it that much harder!

To put things back in perspective, we are talking about a cardigan here. Not a loved one (well, not a human loved one). And despite the fact that I gave away my back-up bachelorette cardigan, I was able to successfully find a leopard cardigan this weekend at Ross. Faith in humanity was restored. My inner child rejoiced. And my dear husband simply shook his head.

***UPDATE***
When I arrived at work the next day, the girl at the front desk was wearing my cardigan. 
I couldn't even speak.
I went up to her later as I was walking out and said, "Hm. Nice cardigan."
She said, barely even looking at me, "Oh, you too! Have a great day."
I don't know how, but I interpreted this as the most sinister of insults.

I posted my discovery on Facebook and people who don't read my blog just thought this girl had stolen my cardigan -- while that wasn't the case, the non-theft was still quite bitter.
Good thing I love my new cardigan.

Dress/Necklace (shop!)/Shoes (shop!): Ruche, Cardigan: Ross, Bangles: Kate Spade