This has quite possibly been one of the darkest weeks of my life.
It's difficult because it's almost entirely internal. I can
write about it and try to express it, but I place a mask on my face every single day as I go to work and interact with others. I focus on small things and make jokes to my friends and watch comedy shows and movies constantly. It's a very lonely feeling, a very personal struggle. I tend to cry on my way home from work and before I go to sleep. Those are the moments when I have time to myself to grieve. To be quite honest, I have been listening almost exclusively to Enya (a sure sign of brokenness) at work and hardly getting anything done. These days are very blurry and strange. I feel very tired. But I also know that life must go on and time is passing by whether I want it to or not. I realize I'm taking this very hard, and I must pull myself out of it somehow.
Grief, prayer, acceptance, tribute, hope, love.
Back in November I wrote a blog post called
Stamps of Life. Something led me to reread that piece this morning, and I am now a puddle. Oh, my little November self, if only you knew. Thank goodness you didn't, because you were able to write something that your February self needed very, very badly.
Here are some of my stamps of life.
Beautiful moments, scenes of love, colorful pictures of memories that last and transform.
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| spring in virginia |
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| smokey the cat |
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| epcot center, disney world |
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| blowing rock, north carolina |
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| animal kingdom, disney world |
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