30 weeks {frocktober, day 21}

The Arizona mornings dip into the 60's and I'm suddenly all about the scarves, sweaters and boots. I'm a little bit anxious for our trip to North Carolina next week, where I'll actually be able to comfortably add tights to this same ensemble! Maybe even a beanie. I can practically feel the chill against my cheeks, and it absolutely cannot come soon enough.

On Wednesday we hit the 30 week mark. This milestone hit me square in the teeth because I am so not ready to be done with pregnancy yet. I know I still have 10 weeks to go, but that suddenly seems like such a short amount of time. I actually get teary-eyed thinking about it. How weird is that? Even with all of the struggles, pains, and nuisances of pregnancy, I ardently adore having my little boy with me. He's a part of me now in a way that he'll never be again. I know the next part is the good stuff... but I find myself feeling so protective of this time that he and I have shared together. I have him all to myself. It's this strange kind of selfishness that makes me want to cry about having to share him with the world soon.

I think before actually experiencing pregnancy for myself, the overall message I received was that it's a fairly negative experience. From Facebook posts, personal conversations, blogs, etc. Horror stories and the oh just you waits were the majority. To an extent, they still are. Not to say that those horror stories aren't real, because they definitely are - there are women out there who could rival Bella Swan for worst pregnancy ever. I think I have been very lucky, and obviously everything I say is coming from my own experience. I still think it's a shame that we often allow the complaints to permeate the conversation. Maybe we really do just struggle with the changes in our bodies (say goodbye to your figure forever, because you are doomed, lady!) and feel the need to share those things in solidarity, but I want to take a moment to truly appreciate what the last 30 weeks have meant to me. Maybe it's just the pregnancy brain talking, but these are the things I'm going to miss.

I'm going to miss feeling his twirling movements every day, wondering what he's up to and what expressions his face might be making. I'm going to miss the time I get to spend with him that no one else can have (including his 2am dance sessions). I'm going to miss going to bed with my arms wrapped around him, knowing he's safe and protected in there. I'll miss this phase of mystery and dreaming - what will he look like? What will he be like? Soon we'll know for certain, but this time of sweet anticipation is precious all on its own. I'll miss maternity clothes and bump pictures. Feeling the least body conscious I've ever felt, because this belly is supposed to hang out, thankyouverymuch. I'll miss the way Dusty and I spend every night holding hands over my belly, feeling our little one move and talking to him about the future. I won't lie, I'll miss being taken care of. The sweet words, the excitement, the tenderness.

I know that pregnancy can be (and is) a very scary thing for many people, but I have loved every bit of it. Even the sickness (he's healthy and growing!), even the fatigue (all day naps? yes please), even the weird and absurd body changes. And I do mean absurd. I have cried, I have been surprised, I have had to adjust. But lemme tell you, my body is a boss. We just took our first class ("The Art of Breastfeeding") on Wednesday and I think I can say that boobs are boss. Put that on a t-shirt and wear it around town. A woman's body is insane, it's all sci-fi up in here. God is a miraculous creator, isn't He? That's what pregnancy really is. He's just showing off. I'm proud to be a warrior of His handiwork. It's truly extraordinary. Especially because this process is the precursor to welcoming our son into the world. A real human. He is and always will be a part of me, a part of my husband and I. I will cherish this time forever. 30 weeks and counting. Tick, tock.

(I will recant all of these things in 10 weeks when I begin bribing doctors to get this child outta me pronto).

sleepy says {frocktober, days 17-20}

I think both my husband and I have come to realize that we're completely at the mercy of fatigue these days. We've spent every weekend working tirelessly on getting our house ready to move in, and as a result, we feel drained at the start of every week. The week days go by in a heavy blur. I've gone back to my coffee addiction, surprise surprise! Starbucks detours have been frequent. Every evening after work, we're torn between our desire to be productive and our even weightier desire to try to catch up on the rest we've been missing out on each weekend. The sleepiness usually wins out. We're pajama-clad before dinner and in bed as soon as we can manage it.

Thus, my lack of daily blogging. Every night I make a mental note to take and edit photos so I can post them the next morning - but this week they've piled up on me once again. I can't believe it's already Friday again. I honestly feel like I didn't even live through this week. It was all a dream. Someone else went to work for me and I stayed back home inside my own head, content to exist in a haze. 

In 1 week we'll be heading to North Carolina for our Fall getaway to see our besties from law school, and having that to look forward is so delightful. I hope you all have had a much mightier week, full of energy and inspiration. Enjoy this past week of Frocktober outfits below (remix info is at the end of the post). 

Remixes:

Outfit 1: Dress | Outfit 2: Green Cardigan

Outfit 3: Purple Cardigan

Outfit 4: Dress 1, 2, 3 // Denim 1, 2

maternity photoshoot!

My husband surprised me with a little maternity photoshoot for my birthday this year, which was the perfect gift. He contacted our wedding photographer (see our wedding and trash the dress photos!), Rilie of Rilie Dee Photography. It was the perfect choice to reunite with her for these maternity photos. She has captured so many precious moments for us! Our wedding color was that wonderful shamrock green, so I had to incorporate it here as well. We also threw in some Harry Potter books and a few subtle nods to adventure and travel, which will undoubtedly be incorporated into Will's nursery (and life). This is such a fantastic time in our lives, and I'm so thankful to have these photos of Dustin and I to commemorate it. I'm sure these will be the first pictures we'll print and frame for our new home, followed shortly by photos of a wriggly baby boy. Enjoy a few of my favorite shots from our photoshoot, all thanks to Rilie!

raining unicorns {frocktober, day 16}

Dress (remixed here, here): borrowed
Cardigan: Ruche, Leggings (shop!): Pink Blush Maternity

The weather has been gorgeous these past few days. It's a miracle. Cloudy skies, gorgeous sunsets, cool breezes. It's not quite Fall, but I'll definitely take the rain.

This is probably one of my favorite Frocktober outfits to date, and it's absolutely because of the unicorn cardigan. I bought this spectacular beauty while living in Virginia, and I have the fondest memories of wearing it while sitting in my favorite coffee shop downtown and reading great books and drinking lavender lattes. One of the last times I wore it was on St. Patrick's Day in Italy. It's one of those articles of clothing that is inherently magical (because unicorns), but is made even more fantastic by the many memories embedded in its thread from years of use.

This is the first time I've ever worn it tied in the front, although it seems to have been made for it. It's perfectly shaped for a little knot-tying. One of my favorite things about coming up with maternity style ideas is playing with different silhouettes - ones I'd never have wanted to achieve or accentuate before. It's sometimes an odd feeling to try and outline/highlight my stomach, which was always one of the areas that made me the most self-conscious. Now it's lovingly on display, held and cinched by unicorns. 

backyardigans {frocktober, day 15}

It's the weekend at last! Friday was a good day. Work has been a bit interesting the last few months, but things finally seem to be settling in to a new normal. Friday felt like a solid step forward, which is hopeful and refreshing. The same can be said for the house progress. This weekend will be a big one. It's going to give us a really good idea of when and if we can move in this month.

The main setback to us actually diving in and living there full-time has been the kitchen. Specifically the countertops. We are doing our own DIY renovation to the majority of them, which will hopefully take place in the next week or so... we're attempting to do concrete. I'm not sure if I've said that out loud yet. But we're going to try our hand at sculpting our own concrete countertops! Wish us luck. A lot of luck.

The tricky part, though, is that we need our island countertop (which holds the kitchen sink) replaced and lengthened so that it can accommodate bar stools. So no DIY attempts there. We've been trying to hire a local guy to do the work for us, but it's been a slow process. After a week of back and forth, we finally have an installation date: November 5th.

As I said, this weekend feels like a definite shifting point. There's a spark in the air. The biggest projects are done (more or less), and we have dates in place for the rest. We'll actually be moving in a few loads of furniture either today or tomorrow, which does wonders to making it actually feel like our house. On Thursday we went over to the house and took these outfit photos (this dress was given to me ages ago by a friend, and it was always too long - but my belly width has perfected it!), and I actually thought of it as my backyard. Making that shift from strangers/guests to true backyardigans feels mighty fine.

 

29 weeks {frocktober, day 14}

Dress (worn here, here and here): gifted, Sweater: forever 21

Wednesday marked the 29th week for this baby boy. Which means 11 weeks until he's born. Unless he comes early. Which I can't quite think about at the moment. 

I utilize The Bump app for my weekly baby updates, and it mentioned that I should make sure that the nursery is stocked this week and that we should begin packing our hospital bag. I only panicked a tiny amount. Because WE'RE STILL HOMELESS. That's not true, I'm being dramatic. 

But THERE IS NO NURSERY AND IT IS NOT STOCKED AND I HAVE NO BAGS, especially not a "hospital" bag. We have none of the things. Zero things. If I went into labor and our poor sweet son came into the world tonight, we'd be wrapping him into a pair of daddy's sweats and carrying him like a football all the way home, where we'd lovingly place him in a padded drawer to go night night. We have zero things, people.

As all parents do, we will somehow figure it out. Every day that this baby stays in there is a big hallelujah. I want him to grow big (but not too big) and strong and be ready to greet us when the time comes. It seems impossible that we're closing in on 30 weeks already. We cherish his presence and are constantly torn by our impatience to meet him and our desire to slow the rest of this pregnancy down, enjoying our time together and taking the necessary days to finish all of our house projects and actually move in. Whether we choose impatience or attempt to stop time, these next two months are going to go by faster than any in my lifetime of memory. I have a feeling time will continue to go by at this startling pace once he's in our arms, too. It's such an endeavor to cherish our days, even (and maybe especially) the mundane ones.

This month is Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 15th specifically is the annual day that's set aside to recognize Infant Loss and what it means for so many of us. It has been heavy on my heart today. Our sweet Poppy's due date would have been October 26th. It's a date I have been anticipating and dreading for many months now. Our loss is complexified by the immense joy we feel every time William's heartbeat thumps against our own hearts and his little kicks push against our hands. It's difficult to put into words how that hope and heartache intertwine. But today, I honor Poppy by remembering her in ways that only I can. I cry and rejoice in the same breath. I am so grateful for her life. Short, sweet, vibrant. I look forward to heaven in a new light, and to the many perfect faces we will see there. So many precious babies. 

Thinking of you and yours on this day - those I know and those I do not. May you remember your lost children and have hope that they have been found in the arms of Jesus. 

catching up {frocktober, days 10-13}

Frocktober continues, though I've been slow to post. Our evenings have been full of get-togethers and house work, so the blogging has settled to the back-burner a little bit. I've still been able to take a few quick photos every day (many of them against our newly painted walls), as proof of my dress-wearing and continued commitment to the cause!

This teal lace dress is one of my favorites (worn here, here, here, here, and a few times during my first Frocktober), but it's always been on the shorter side so I typically wear it with skinny jeans or tights and boots. Now, with my added belly width, it's definitely shortened into a tunic/tank top! But I'm still counting it as a dress. My favorite way to wear it is by layering a plain or striped shirt underneath.

My other favorite remix from the week was this green dress (worn here and here) with this incredibly long and cozy mint green Anthropologie sweater. They both have a layered handkerchief hem, so they almost morphed into one bizarre and ruffly color-blocked dress. The whole outfit was so flowy it made me feel like twirling all day long, which is always a plus.

We're heading back to the house to do more work this evening. We'll see if I can keep from drowning in our fabulous list of to-dos! Tally ho.