|Day 24 : Dress (remixed): gifted, Top: LOFT outlet, Cardigan: old, Shoes: Blowfish|
Day 25 : Dress (remixed 1, 2): J. Crew outlet, Denim Top (remixed): Ruche
These last few weekends I have been having very acute cravings for laziness.
It starts somewhere around Friday morning, after I've had my coffee and I begin to count down the hours and the minutes to pajama time. My Friday night parties include me, my TV (or a good book), my cats, and something to snack on. I am quite the night lifer, I know.
My husband, though, is the opposite. He craves actual parties. He loves people and is energized by events and get-togethers and plans. I want no plans. I want couch.
Sometimes it's a struggle to find a balance for what we both want and need.
My husband feels really frustrated and unaccomplished when we spend too much time on the weekends doing nothing. (Which, I would argue, having an all-day sitcom marathon is not nothing). But, I see his point and I think lately I've just been wanting to crawl into my shell and disappear for a while. It's a part of me that shows up every once in a while, the extreme introvert that can occasionally take over. I've been especially susceptible to her lately.
And also, I kind of just miss marathons. As disgusting as it was, I miss those years where we would literally watch TV for days, binge-watching shows together and being completely free to do so. Sure, we would eat our weight in crap like pizza and cookie dough but it kinda felt like a vacation.
Right now we're stuck in that awkward stage of really wanting to partake in bouts of all-day indulgences, while also trying to find the strength and resolution to admit that oh my goodness my body hates me I'm too old for this crap. It's a side effect of the mid-twenties.
Friday night I went to a 10 o'clock showing of Gone Girl with my dad and little brother and I feel like death warmed up. I just can't stay up that late anymore. I desperately want to hold on to my adolescence and take a full weekend to watch TV, but that's pretty irresponsible and is generally a waste of my time and a drain on my energy. It's time that I could be using to actually do something worthwhile.
I wish I had the answers to feeling more secure, more grown up, more accomplished. I think we're both just feeling like we're in a rut and we're not sure how to get out of it, how to keep moving forward. We're just in the money-saving, planning, hoping in-between stage. Things are happening and we have ideas and goals and "I cant wait for"s, but it's just a lot of patience and waiting.
Maturity encourages patience, so I'm going to keep putting on my dresses and going out into the world to nourish learning, activity, exercise, and relationships.
That childish gal within me who wishes to stay in her pajamas for days at a time will just have to be saved for very, very special occasions. Like a real vacation, once we've saved up and earned one.