fall is here: frocktober recap

Autumn is...

birthday month pumpkin spice cutesie baby pajamas decorating hay rides kettle corn weekend trips sweater weather burnt orange scarves plaid changing leaves crisp mornings harvest festivals the state fair thanksgiving fireside evenings pumpkin patches pumpkin everything s'mores camping apple cider harry potter butterbeer baby's first halloween movie nights scented candles couch cuddles 

tights & boots spices hot drinks cozy socks caramel golden days

And... it's Frocktober. 

Oh, how I love this season. I am so excited to introduce William to all of the wonderful things about Fall. I know he won't remember his first Fall in the world, but I sure will. We're planning his first Halloween costume, we've decorated the house in Fall leaves and pumpkins, and we've had Autumnal candles burning for weeks now. I took him to his first pumpkin patch and I bought as many Octoberesque things I could find during Old Navy's baby sale. I just love this month. 

Of course, over the past few years this blog has been all about Frocktober. The collage above is a little recap of last year's Frocktober dresses. It was by far my favorite year to date. I had so much fun going through my closet to find things that could work as maternity wear, and being pregnant in the Fall and Winter is the best. Sweaters and leggings galore! 

I haven't officially posted anything about it here on the blog (I've obviously been a bit lax on here since Will was born), but I've decided not to do Frocktober this year. I still love it. But as it came closer, I realized that the thought of it was causing more stress than excitement. I am enjoying being a mom so very much, and my daily uniform is random and messy and wonderful. I want to focus this October on the many Fall firsts of my little boy. I know I will eventually get back to my creative style, but for now my heart is elsewhere.

For those of you who don't know about my Frocktober, you can read more about it here. As I said, the collage above is my Frocktober 2015 challenge. You can also check out 2014, 2013 and 2012. My main motivation for participating in Frocktober has always been to challenge myself to find new purpose and appreciation for what I already have - avoiding shopping for the month and bringing new creative life to my dresses and other accessories. It has been so much fun having other ladies join me in the challenge - the Frocktober Sisterhood is my favorite. If you'd ever like to join (it's not too late!) my challenge to you for the rest of October is to not only be creative and innovative with your existing closet, but to also try to avoid purchasing new clothes. Think outside the box. Have a clothes swap with friends, or go thrifting, or consider using your clothes budget to purchase from a company that gives back - like Krochet Kids intl. or another cause that really speaks to you. Take the month to be intentional with what you wear and how you wear it. It's such a great challenge and I have always had a blast doing it. 

I am hoping to still do a few special style posts this month in honor of Frocktober, perhaps on some great nursing mom dress options. I hope you all have a superb October, and enjoy all of the best things about this season!

#frocktobersisterhood

34 weeks

There are certain moments when the fact that I'm pregnant suddenly sinks in and I'm overcome with an incredibly surreal hold on just one hot second kind of swarm of feelings. That has been this week. The other night I was getting into bed (less and less gracefully these days) and I just turned (rolled) to face Dustin and said, "I'm really pregnant. When the heck did that happen?" He thought I said "how" so he was momentarily concerned and we had a good laugh.

But really, I'm feeling very shocked that Thanksgiving is next week and our baby is coming, ready or not, in 6 weeks. And don't say things like, "Well it could be tomorrow, ya know!" because if I haven't been totally clear yet, I'm in a little bit of a panic and those humorous bits of commentary kinda just make me go sdalkfjaskldjhfalwjer.

I'm trying to just see everything that's stressing me out as a great opportunity to laugh at myself. I'm stressed because our house isn't done, and I have this giant fear that once the baby comes all of these little things will really never get done. We'll have a to-do list miles and miles long, and we'll just be living in this weird limbo for years because we can never get around to crossing things off the list. There's just not enough time. I'm stressed out about the unfinished and the clutter. But then I realize that I've literally been living in clutter my entire life. Basically preparing to be a mom without knowing it. Clutter and I are besties. We understand each other. I have chosen clutter again and again, probably because I knew my future self would need this - to be happy and cozy and patient even in the clutter of new momhood. I knew there had to be a reason my room was never clean!

The truth is, expectations rarely meet up with reality. In my previous abstract thoughts about pregnancy and motherhood, I always imagined having a little girl. Not because I had a particular preference, but that's where my mind always went. But it's so wonderfully fitting that I'm going to be a little boy's mom...me, the girl with three brothers who was always surrounded by boys and legos and action figures and video games and dragons and sword-wielding stories of make believe. I am so much more prepared to be a boy's mom, and that's a fact. I knew there had to be a reason why I'm so weird! My little boy is gonna love me. 

My house will be cluttered, stories will abound, dragons will fly, and I will chill. We've got this.

find the fall {frocktober, days 29-30}

Remixes:

Outfit 1: Dress here and here

Outfit 2: Dress / Cardigan

The last few days of Frocktober were by far my favorite. Not because of the dresses or the outfit combinations, but because we were able to take off on a little vacation to find the Fall. We had long been planning to visit our friends Colin and Victoria in North Carolina, and a few months ago we finally took the plunge and bought the tickets. It's something we've been looking forward to ever since.

After our red eye flight from Arizona, they came and picked us up at the airport in Atlanta and we began the long drive to the mountains of Blowing Rock, North Carolina. Even though we were functioning on about four hours of sleep, the crispness in the air was enough to rejuvenate us. (Although I won't deny a few car naps on the way). When we finally got to the mountains the evening of the 30th, pulling into the driveway right at sunset, it was as if the mountains themselves were sighing along with us. This is the life.

30 weeks {frocktober, day 21}

The Arizona mornings dip into the 60's and I'm suddenly all about the scarves, sweaters and boots. I'm a little bit anxious for our trip to North Carolina next week, where I'll actually be able to comfortably add tights to this same ensemble! Maybe even a beanie. I can practically feel the chill against my cheeks, and it absolutely cannot come soon enough.

On Wednesday we hit the 30 week mark. This milestone hit me square in the teeth because I am so not ready to be done with pregnancy yet. I know I still have 10 weeks to go, but that suddenly seems like such a short amount of time. I actually get teary-eyed thinking about it. How weird is that? Even with all of the struggles, pains, and nuisances of pregnancy, I ardently adore having my little boy with me. He's a part of me now in a way that he'll never be again. I know the next part is the good stuff... but I find myself feeling so protective of this time that he and I have shared together. I have him all to myself. It's this strange kind of selfishness that makes me want to cry about having to share him with the world soon.

I think before actually experiencing pregnancy for myself, the overall message I received was that it's a fairly negative experience. From Facebook posts, personal conversations, blogs, etc. Horror stories and the oh just you waits were the majority. To an extent, they still are. Not to say that those horror stories aren't real, because they definitely are - there are women out there who could rival Bella Swan for worst pregnancy ever. I think I have been very lucky, and obviously everything I say is coming from my own experience. I still think it's a shame that we often allow the complaints to permeate the conversation. Maybe we really do just struggle with the changes in our bodies (say goodbye to your figure forever, because you are doomed, lady!) and feel the need to share those things in solidarity, but I want to take a moment to truly appreciate what the last 30 weeks have meant to me. Maybe it's just the pregnancy brain talking, but these are the things I'm going to miss.

I'm going to miss feeling his twirling movements every day, wondering what he's up to and what expressions his face might be making. I'm going to miss the time I get to spend with him that no one else can have (including his 2am dance sessions). I'm going to miss going to bed with my arms wrapped around him, knowing he's safe and protected in there. I'll miss this phase of mystery and dreaming - what will he look like? What will he be like? Soon we'll know for certain, but this time of sweet anticipation is precious all on its own. I'll miss maternity clothes and bump pictures. Feeling the least body conscious I've ever felt, because this belly is supposed to hang out, thankyouverymuch. I'll miss the way Dusty and I spend every night holding hands over my belly, feeling our little one move and talking to him about the future. I won't lie, I'll miss being taken care of. The sweet words, the excitement, the tenderness.

I know that pregnancy can be (and is) a very scary thing for many people, but I have loved every bit of it. Even the sickness (he's healthy and growing!), even the fatigue (all day naps? yes please), even the weird and absurd body changes. And I do mean absurd. I have cried, I have been surprised, I have had to adjust. But lemme tell you, my body is a boss. We just took our first class ("The Art of Breastfeeding") on Wednesday and I think I can say that boobs are boss. Put that on a t-shirt and wear it around town. A woman's body is insane, it's all sci-fi up in here. God is a miraculous creator, isn't He? That's what pregnancy really is. He's just showing off. I'm proud to be a warrior of His handiwork. It's truly extraordinary. Especially because this process is the precursor to welcoming our son into the world. A real human. He is and always will be a part of me, a part of my husband and I. I will cherish this time forever. 30 weeks and counting. Tick, tock.

(I will recant all of these things in 10 weeks when I begin bribing doctors to get this child outta me pronto).

sleepy says {frocktober, days 17-20}

I think both my husband and I have come to realize that we're completely at the mercy of fatigue these days. We've spent every weekend working tirelessly on getting our house ready to move in, and as a result, we feel drained at the start of every week. The week days go by in a heavy blur. I've gone back to my coffee addiction, surprise surprise! Starbucks detours have been frequent. Every evening after work, we're torn between our desire to be productive and our even weightier desire to try to catch up on the rest we've been missing out on each weekend. The sleepiness usually wins out. We're pajama-clad before dinner and in bed as soon as we can manage it.

Thus, my lack of daily blogging. Every night I make a mental note to take and edit photos so I can post them the next morning - but this week they've piled up on me once again. I can't believe it's already Friday again. I honestly feel like I didn't even live through this week. It was all a dream. Someone else went to work for me and I stayed back home inside my own head, content to exist in a haze. 

In 1 week we'll be heading to North Carolina for our Fall getaway to see our besties from law school, and having that to look forward is so delightful. I hope you all have had a much mightier week, full of energy and inspiration. Enjoy this past week of Frocktober outfits below (remix info is at the end of the post). 

Remixes:

Outfit 1: Dress | Outfit 2: Green Cardigan

Outfit 3: Purple Cardigan

Outfit 4: Dress 1, 2, 3 // Denim 1, 2

maternity photoshoot!

My husband surprised me with a little maternity photoshoot for my birthday this year, which was the perfect gift. He contacted our wedding photographer (see our wedding and trash the dress photos!), Rilie of Rilie Dee Photography. It was the perfect choice to reunite with her for these maternity photos. She has captured so many precious moments for us! Our wedding color was that wonderful shamrock green, so I had to incorporate it here as well. We also threw in some Harry Potter books and a few subtle nods to adventure and travel, which will undoubtedly be incorporated into Will's nursery (and life). This is such a fantastic time in our lives, and I'm so thankful to have these photos of Dustin and I to commemorate it. I'm sure these will be the first pictures we'll print and frame for our new home, followed shortly by photos of a wriggly baby boy. Enjoy a few of my favorite shots from our photoshoot, all thanks to Rilie!

raining unicorns {frocktober, day 16}

Dress (remixed here, here): borrowed
Cardigan: Ruche, Leggings (shop!): Pink Blush Maternity

The weather has been gorgeous these past few days. It's a miracle. Cloudy skies, gorgeous sunsets, cool breezes. It's not quite Fall, but I'll definitely take the rain.

This is probably one of my favorite Frocktober outfits to date, and it's absolutely because of the unicorn cardigan. I bought this spectacular beauty while living in Virginia, and I have the fondest memories of wearing it while sitting in my favorite coffee shop downtown and reading great books and drinking lavender lattes. One of the last times I wore it was on St. Patrick's Day in Italy. It's one of those articles of clothing that is inherently magical (because unicorns), but is made even more fantastic by the many memories embedded in its thread from years of use.

This is the first time I've ever worn it tied in the front, although it seems to have been made for it. It's perfectly shaped for a little knot-tying. One of my favorite things about coming up with maternity style ideas is playing with different silhouettes - ones I'd never have wanted to achieve or accentuate before. It's sometimes an odd feeling to try and outline/highlight my stomach, which was always one of the areas that made me the most self-conscious. Now it's lovingly on display, held and cinched by unicorns. 

29 weeks {frocktober, day 14}

Dress (worn here, here and here): gifted, Sweater: forever 21

Wednesday marked the 29th week for this baby boy. Which means 11 weeks until he's born. Unless he comes early. Which I can't quite think about at the moment. 

I utilize The Bump app for my weekly baby updates, and it mentioned that I should make sure that the nursery is stocked this week and that we should begin packing our hospital bag. I only panicked a tiny amount. Because WE'RE STILL HOMELESS. That's not true, I'm being dramatic. 

But THERE IS NO NURSERY AND IT IS NOT STOCKED AND I HAVE NO BAGS, especially not a "hospital" bag. We have none of the things. Zero things. If I went into labor and our poor sweet son came into the world tonight, we'd be wrapping him into a pair of daddy's sweats and carrying him like a football all the way home, where we'd lovingly place him in a padded drawer to go night night. We have zero things, people.

As all parents do, we will somehow figure it out. Every day that this baby stays in there is a big hallelujah. I want him to grow big (but not too big) and strong and be ready to greet us when the time comes. It seems impossible that we're closing in on 30 weeks already. We cherish his presence and are constantly torn by our impatience to meet him and our desire to slow the rest of this pregnancy down, enjoying our time together and taking the necessary days to finish all of our house projects and actually move in. Whether we choose impatience or attempt to stop time, these next two months are going to go by faster than any in my lifetime of memory. I have a feeling time will continue to go by at this startling pace once he's in our arms, too. It's such an endeavor to cherish our days, even (and maybe especially) the mundane ones.

This month is Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 15th specifically is the annual day that's set aside to recognize Infant Loss and what it means for so many of us. It has been heavy on my heart today. Our sweet Poppy's due date would have been October 26th. It's a date I have been anticipating and dreading for many months now. Our loss is complexified by the immense joy we feel every time William's heartbeat thumps against our own hearts and his little kicks push against our hands. It's difficult to put into words how that hope and heartache intertwine. But today, I honor Poppy by remembering her in ways that only I can. I cry and rejoice in the same breath. I am so grateful for her life. Short, sweet, vibrant. I look forward to heaven in a new light, and to the many perfect faces we will see there. So many precious babies. 

Thinking of you and yours on this day - those I know and those I do not. May you remember your lost children and have hope that they have been found in the arms of Jesus. 

sweater dresses {frocktober, day 7}

Leggings: Pink Blush Maternity

I've been living in leggings and stretchy dresses. While I'm technically participating in this "challenge" called Frocktober, I actually think it's much easier to wear dresses at this point. 

I'm borrowing an extravagant amount of maternity clothing from my sister-in-law, and she included a few tank top dresses/stretchy bodycon dresses from Forever 21 (one of which I wore last week). They're amazing. I would have never tried wearing them before, because they're so fitted and would hug me in all the wrong places. But when you've got a belly goin' on and just want to be covered from head to toe in comfy elastic fabrics, they're the best. You can layer them over leggings or wear them with jeans like a long tank top. They're the greatest non-maternity item I have at my disposal. They're so comfortable, and so inexpensive. 

So there ya go. Some maternity tips from yours truly. Cozy sweater dresses, maternity leggings and stretchy bodycon dresses are what dreams are made of.

grown ups {frocktober, day 5 + 6}

Outfit 1:

Dress (remixed 1, 2): gifted // Leggings (shop!): Pink Blush Maternity

Outfit 2:

Dress (remixed 1, 2, 3, 4, 5): Ruche // Sweater (similar): LOFT

I think I've worn this aztec dress more than anything else in my wardrobe. It has become more of a long tank top in my current ballooned state, but it's still my go-to for a bright, comfortable dress. The 6th was rainy and cool, and it finally felt a little like Fall. I immediately brought out this grey knit sweater, which I bought this past summer in anticipation of a winter pregnancy. I got it for $10 at LOFT on super sale, and it has been sitting with its tags on just waiting for a day like this. I was so thrilled to finally put it on. The day I picked that sweater out does not seem that long ago, and I'm a little bit shocked at how the time has flown by. Here I am, wearing this time capsule sweater, 28 weeks pregnant and dreaming about that wintery breeze in the air.

This week has definitely been a reminder that I am a grown up. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes, while living with my parents and playing with kittens and planning weekend shenanigans, it completely escapes my notice that I'm in my late twenties and am about to move into a real house and have a baby. 

I turned 27 on Monday and the day just kind of whispered by. I kept shocking myself by being so calm about it. I've always loved birthdays a little too much - last year we had a fantastic s'mores bar bonfire party. This year snuck up on me, and I didn't plan a single thing. I remember being in a bit of a funk last year, too, and I think it's because I'm realizing that I can't quite accomplish the exuberance I've always reserved for birthday month anymore. It seems like something I should grow out of. Truthfully, I don't want to grow out of it - the thought makes me quite sad. But this year, it felt okay to be a grown up. To pay attention to more important things, and refrain from forcing focus on myself. My birthday was simple and lovely - I went to work, had lunch at my favorite cafe, gathered with my family for a delicious Chinese take-out dinner, and ended with my grandma's blueberry bread pudding for dessert. 

As this month progresses (I'm still quietly celebrating birthday month), the greatest birthday gift I can possibly imagine would be to finally move in to our house. We're also going to visit our besties in North Carolina on the 29th, which will be the perfect way to end this October. There are so many things to look forward to. Each day brings us closer to house, travel, holidays, and baby! Yes. Being a grown up is pretty grand.