29 weeks {frocktober, day 14}

Dress (worn here, here and here): gifted, Sweater: forever 21

Wednesday marked the 29th week for this baby boy. Which means 11 weeks until he's born. Unless he comes early. Which I can't quite think about at the moment. 

I utilize The Bump app for my weekly baby updates, and it mentioned that I should make sure that the nursery is stocked this week and that we should begin packing our hospital bag. I only panicked a tiny amount. Because WE'RE STILL HOMELESS. That's not true, I'm being dramatic. 

But THERE IS NO NURSERY AND IT IS NOT STOCKED AND I HAVE NO BAGS, especially not a "hospital" bag. We have none of the things. Zero things. If I went into labor and our poor sweet son came into the world tonight, we'd be wrapping him into a pair of daddy's sweats and carrying him like a football all the way home, where we'd lovingly place him in a padded drawer to go night night. We have zero things, people.

As all parents do, we will somehow figure it out. Every day that this baby stays in there is a big hallelujah. I want him to grow big (but not too big) and strong and be ready to greet us when the time comes. It seems impossible that we're closing in on 30 weeks already. We cherish his presence and are constantly torn by our impatience to meet him and our desire to slow the rest of this pregnancy down, enjoying our time together and taking the necessary days to finish all of our house projects and actually move in. Whether we choose impatience or attempt to stop time, these next two months are going to go by faster than any in my lifetime of memory. I have a feeling time will continue to go by at this startling pace once he's in our arms, too. It's such an endeavor to cherish our days, even (and maybe especially) the mundane ones.

This month is Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 15th specifically is the annual day that's set aside to recognize Infant Loss and what it means for so many of us. It has been heavy on my heart today. Our sweet Poppy's due date would have been October 26th. It's a date I have been anticipating and dreading for many months now. Our loss is complexified by the immense joy we feel every time William's heartbeat thumps against our own hearts and his little kicks push against our hands. It's difficult to put into words how that hope and heartache intertwine. But today, I honor Poppy by remembering her in ways that only I can. I cry and rejoice in the same breath. I am so grateful for her life. Short, sweet, vibrant. I look forward to heaven in a new light, and to the many perfect faces we will see there. So many precious babies. 

Thinking of you and yours on this day - those I know and those I do not. May you remember your lost children and have hope that they have been found in the arms of Jesus. 

the end {frocktober, day 31!}

Happy (belated) Halloweeny, friends!

I had so much fun yesterday dressing up at the office as...can you already guess it?...The Book Thief!

I was maybe a little too pleased with my last-minute literary pun costume, but everyone at work loved it. It was also great because I didn't have to buy anything! (It's true, I had this leather mask lying around from my 1998 trip to the Renaissance Festival, coincidentally the same year that Zorro came out in theatres...). The comfy striped sweater (remixed here) was perfect for the criminal look. I love creative costumes that are assembled from things you already own!

We didn't have plans to dress up for any evening Halloween festivities this year, so I just enjoyed the costume throughout the day! We went to a little harvest festival at my parents church and then came home to watch a movie and drink butterbeer floats (because Halloween and Harry Potter go great together). Not much to complain about there!

I hope you all had a really fun and safe Halloween. I look forward to one day having little trick-or-treaters at our door, and decorating our house and handing out candy. Growing up we never had any trick-or-treaters because we lived so far out of town, so it will be a big change if we move into a neighborhood next year and have to worry about buying bags and bags of candy to give out to all of the little zombies, witches and ghouls!

As always, I am sad to see Frocktober go. I obviously won't be boycotting dresses because they're still my favorite thing to wear, but the daily challenge is at an end. Time for cold weather (pretty please, Arizona!), skinny jeans, tights, boots, sweets, sparkly sweaters.
Enjoy your week of candy and sugar highs!

Happy November!

birthday! {frocktober, day 4+5}

Saturday was a day for sweet treats, napping and celebrations.
My best friend from college came down with her little boy to visit for my birthday weekend, which was such a blast! It's one of the great blessings of being back on the west coast. We went to college in California so we're much closer to all of our loved ones in that state!
On Saturday morning we went up to meet my sister-in-law and nephew for a fun little brunch, complete with macarons. I love macarons. She gifted me a dozen of them from this little bakery for my birthday, and even though I originally vowed to make them last, I only have 2 left!

When we got back to the house we rested for a little while (recovering from our s'mores hangover), then we headed out to celebrate my little niece Annabella's second birthday! Her and I are the October bebes. Which is fitting, since her middle name is Caitlin, too! (Side story: instantly burst into tears when they announced what her name would be - almost swerved off the road due to tear-vision). 

Sunday was the official beginning of my 26th year. It has begun. 

To be totally honest, I was in a bit of a funk. I think it was a combination of ending my year of being 25, my friend leaving to go back home, my fatigue (I took a 3-hour nap - s'more hangovers can be really long-winded), and the overall uncertainty of this next year of our lives. 

I have to constantly remind myself that I'm a lover of adventure, and that I am blessed beyond measure. It seems unfair that our tendency is to forget and grow accustomed to the great blessings of our lives. Disaster and tragedy have to occur before we remember to gather together, fellowship, compliment, cherish, edify. 

It's one of the reasons people forget God and feel rather confident that they have no need for Him. This world is a rather talented foe at encouraging greed, dissatisfaction and selfishness.  

I love birthdays and I adore silliness and simple pleasures and my morning coffee and presents of all shapes and sizes. I tend to like things, but they're not the intricate matters of life. At the end of the day, as I enter these late-twenties and realize the increasing speediness of each year, I am so grateful for this little life and everything it means to me and my loved ones. I am loved and I love back. I have two cats that purr and frolic and make messes and make me laugh heartily all the time. I have Arizona sunsets and sweet friends and parents that love each other. I have three brothers that I will love for all time, and surrogate sisters that have graced my life with girlishness and encouragement and love. I have my darling husband who laughs, cries, praises, rejoices, challenges, surprises, and delights. He and I will be hand-in-hand for the rest of our days, praising God all the way because all of these things are His. Big picture. 

So grateful for the gifts.