green hair don't care

Dress (remixed 1, 2, 3, 4): Modcloth, Sweater (shop!): Gap

This past October, I created a to-do list for my 26th year of life. It's filled with silly and serious dreams and goals, and one of them was to dye the ends of my hair purple. Because why not?

I dyed my hair tips red last year, and after it inevitably began to fade to a golden blonde I began to think about other fun colors I'd like to eventually try. Purple won out in the end. I loved the dark purple, but after a few weeks, it began to turn into this strange, mermaid-inspired teal green. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't bothered by it. I was totally fine with the seaweed locks, and even found a kindred spirit (Elizabeth over at Delightfully Tacky) with teal hair in the blogosphere. 

A week or two ago, though, I had a friend tell me that she really didn't like it. That it was probably time for it to go. It kind of took me back a little bit, because I somehow still manage to be surprised when people don't think the things I like are as awesome as I think they are (like my gold-capped molar, like my autographed Orlando Bloom headshot, like the Renaissance Festival...). Maybe I'm just super weird in a million different ways. But I reacted differently to the criticism this time around. I didn't shy back or try to people please or become embarrassed that something I like might be weird or nerdy or whatever else. I just said, "Oh, I like it!" and the conversation moved on. 

It wasn't a particularly life-changing moment, but it did cause me to think a little bit. Why do I make the choices that I do, in style and otherwise? Who are they for? Because if they're for me, then I can proudly wear that green hair don't care vibe and be unashamed by my loud galaxy-print dress and my gold molar and my handcrafted dragon statue made by a woman dressed like an apothecary's wife. I've been told by many various people over the course of my life that I am weird. That I'm nerdy, or "homeschooled". I have never been able to figure out the reasons for saying those things in a hurtful way, especially when the words are spoken by friends. What are they hoping to gain? My embarrassment, an apology, a change of personality? Who knows. 

I think it's really hard to be confident. I often find myself feeling out a group before voicing my opinions. Sometimes I even nod in agreement or change my answer based on the dialogue of others. Not about big things, of course, like God or Harry Potter. But the little things often slip away, out of cowardice and self doubt. I know I'm not the only one who does this, but it often leaves me feeling really frustrated with myself. Sometimes I'll blurt out the truth to my husband after we've been hanging out with friends, because it has been proven over the course of our relationship that he will love me in all things, to the bizarrest degree. I wish I could feel that strong all the time. 

I chopped my hair off this week, and the whole evening I was trying to decide why I was doing it. Was it because I had already been thinking about it, because my hair was dry and brittle from the dye? Or was it because of that friend's comment? I'm not sure. Either way, I love the new haircut and it feels much happier and healthier. And perhaps it's the first step toward that dream of a pixie cut. 

At the end of the day, I want what I do to be for me. Not in a selfish way, but in an intentional way. I wear the clothes that I do because I love the way I feel in them, and I love the creativity inherent in putting together unique combinations and in utilizing my clothes in new and unexpected ways. They're small but freeing choices that I'm proud of. I don't think there's any one secret to not caring what other people think - I think I'll always care. But I also think that I can practice confidence and claim joy. Those are worthy pursuits. So is Renaissance Festival pizza. Everyone else is just missing out. 

beads and polka-dots {frocktober, day 14}

Dress (remixed): Ruche, Sweater (remixed): Francesca's

This sweater has been a favorite of mine for a little over a year now. For some reason it almost always encourages my hair into a messy bun, probably because it's so comfortable and I feel so carefree in its giant polka-dotted embrace. 

It also works quite well for a Frocktober sick day, which this certainly was. Yesterday was rather terrible. I left work around 1pm, went by the store to get a handful of cup-o-noodles (I know - but don't judge me. Everyone has their sicky cravings. Those things are weirdly delicious. Ramen all the way!), and headed straight home for sad couch noodle-eating. I napped for a few hours and then mustered up the strength to take a few photos. 

My husband was laughing at me during this shoot because he said he could tell I was "holding in the sickness" while I was standing there in the road. I definitely went right back into my pajamas as soon as we were done! 

Even so, I do love this outfit. This dress is perfect for layering like this because of the pretty beaded collar. 

I got a few new Ruche pieces in the mail last night that I'll be wearing this week - I'm currently wearing this dress, and loving it! It's such a pretty floral. I just can't wait for the weather to cool so I can wear it with scarves, tights and booties. 

I also got another gift from my husband which made me almost burst into tears (it was the cold talking), the long-awaited As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride by Cary Elwes. I honestly have just started reading it and have already squealed and/or said awww about a dozen times. I cannot wait to read it all. 

aside from pumpkin {frocktober, day 2}

Yesterday was a lazy day as far as pictures are concerned. I think the whole mood started when I heard Katy Perry's "Friday Night" on the radio. Something about hearing "tgif!" chanted over and over seems a little unfair on a Thursday. Needless to say, Frocktober was just as fabulous as ever, but we got bogged down with errands and things and weren't able to take any proper photos. I still wore my dress all the day long and thoroughly enjoyed this cool-weather traipse through the desert to capture these couple of grainy photos on my phone.

The desert is gorgeous right now. Still warm during the days, but not too hot, delightfully chilly in the mornings and evenings. Fall gets a lotta love for being the best season around. I didn't really care about it until I moved to Virginia and realized that it actually is the best season around. It's absolutely gorgeous. The colors, the flavors, the crisp air, the coziness, the love for life that comes swiftly and easily every time you step out your door. It really is the best. Being an adopted east coaster for a while really taught me the joys of it. I hope we can eventually design an annual trip out there for the prime golden time.
BUT pumpkin gets crazy amounts of attention for being the Fall mascot, and even though I love it, I'm gonna have to say I love these flavors even more:

Butternut Squash. 
Pumpkin is just another squash, and yet it gets elevated to godhood while little butternutter just stands there begging for love. In Australia they actually call it Butternut Pumpkin, which I think is quite right. I just don't think there's anything better than a warm, creamy bowl of butternut squash soup. Holy gourd, it seeps right through your body like a miracle. It's beautiful.

Caramel.
In my opinion, caramel is best served with a really bitter dark chocolate. Caramel is often too sweet, which is also a big fault of the general pumpkin-flavored multitudes. I need something to offset that sweetness. Which is why I also adore salted caramel and my dad's caramel popcorn. He makes his own caramel, piping hot and boiling, and pours it over a giant bowl of freshly popped kernels. It's honestly the best part of the holidays for me.

Maple.
One of my favorite episodes of Friends is the one where Ross and Chandler go to Vermont, and Ross gets totally crazy and sugar-high twitchy over maple candy. I can totally relate! Maple donuts are the only donuts for me. Slightly warmed up with creamy coffee - yum!
Close flavor favorites to this are crunchy toffee and butter rum.

Hazelnut. 
I really think Fall is the time for nut-flavors. Hazelnut, pecan, walnut, almond. Almond especially goes so well with fall spices, like cinnamon and spiced chocolate. I wish Starbucks carried almond syrup, because that would be lovely. But in that regard, hazelnut is the king.

I recently discovered that Starbucks actually carries a hazelnut drizzle, and I'm seriously wondering how in the world no one told me this before. Thank goodness for that apt barista who followed his hunch and asked, would you like hazelnut drizzle on this? Well of course I do! Where have you been all my life! Your brethren have let me down!                                          

Hazelnut is my daily comfort. It's what I put in my coffee every morning (and occasionally in my iced coffee with drizzle in the afternoons). It's rich and lightly sweet and carries extra special meaning once the weather begins to cool. And also, nutella. That's all.

Pushing the big-headed pumpkin aside, what's your favorite Fall flavor? 

I'm extra excited because tonight is my little birthday get together, and we're having a bonfire with a s'mores bar. Best idea in the universe. And yes, nutella will be an honored guest. 

We spent last night getting groceries and cleaning up. We even hung a little gypsy-garden of lights over a large wooden table and chairs on the back porch. I think I may just move out there. 

Can't wait to show you all photos. It's going to be a great birthday weekend!

hazelnutty

This week has been so cold I've even had cold-related nightmares. I can't escape it.
The lake right next to the new library has been half-frozen and occasionally sprinkled in snow, like the wicked white witch from Narnia is slowly casting a spell on it.
I know, I know -- you all are tired of hearing about how cold it is. I get it.
But I would just like to say that when I got up this morning it was 3 degrees, and I had to seriously evaluate my priorities before I made myself get out of those warm covers. I consider myself extremely brave for that.

I know people have it much worse, negative temperatures and freezing snow, but I'd like to think I'm still Arizonan enough to be nearly killed by 3 degree weather.

Dress: Ruche, Sweater: LOFT, Booties: Urbanog, Hat/Coat: Zulily

Yesterday I got a hot brewed coffee from Starbucks with hazelnut and cream.
Dusty and I purchased the special January tumblers that allow us to get free coffee for this entire month -- today and tomorrow are the last days and I think I'm going to be devastated come February 1st. Life has been so very coffee-filled -- it's the only time I'm ever warm!! I know I'm an addict at this point and I'm nervous about the withdrawals.

Anyway -- I got the hazelnut flavor, and as soon as I took a sip it was, WHOOSH! Memories.

Sweet and subtle but sweeping, I was in college again, working the early shift at the campus coffee shop. I was late for class. I was meeting a friend. I was smiling. I was getting that triple shot because today I really needed it.

It all came rushing back. Senior year was the year of the hazelnut latte for me. I got one nearly every day, it seemed. Working at the coffee shop that first semester meant I could get a few lattes for free, either on my break or after work. It was the flavor of my year.
Dusty and I got married that January, so our last semester of college was spent together, with so many wonderful memories and a lot of hazelnutty days.

It's amazing how something that flavored my life so long ago can still flavor it today, taking me back to those feelings and so quickly reminding me of a time when it was so special.
It's a treasure chest of moments, really, all within my reach - sniffing a special bottle of perfume, ordering a certain latte, listening to a 90's boy band. It's the reason why I intentionally buy a new scent each time we travel to a new place. Paris Amour from Bath & Body Works is, well, Paris -- sexy little things from Victoria's Secret is Ireland.
They're all tied together into the bouquet of my lifetime.

Tastes, smells, sounds.
The strength of them can sometimes overwhelm me.
The strength of a hazelnutty day.

the tapestry bag

The tale of this tapestry bag probably begins a long time ago, way back when I first saw Anne of Green Gables. My desire for one has only increased over the years, and when I finally got around to reading Anne of Green Gables, it was settled.

Matthew, however, was spared the ordeal of speaking first, for as soon as she concluded that he was coming to her she stood up, grasping with one thin brown hand the handle of a shabby, old-fashioned carpet-bag; the other she held out to him....

"Oh, I can carry it," the child responded cheerfully. "It isn't heavy. I've got all my worldly goods in it, but it isn't heavy. And if it isn't carried in just a certain way the handle pulls out--so I'd better keep it because I know the exact knack of it. It's an extremely old carpet-bag. 

Sweater (shop!)/Tapestry Bag (sold out): Ruche, Bottoms: Thrifted, Necklace: Anthropologie, Shoes: Urbanog, 

Of course, this particular bag isn't extremely old and doesn't contain all of my worldly goods in it. But it certainly could, and the dreamer in me just has to close her eyes and grasp the handles to imagine the life-changing adventure that is about to occur -- just my tapestry bag and me.

There's something about having this tapestry bag that makes me feel really grown up.

I packed it up for our Thanksgiving weekend with friends, and I loved feeling put together for once. We've always survived on mismatched and hand me down suitcases, which have always done the trick just fine. Dusty and I have a random stack of bags under our bed, and we usually just cram everything into one bag whenever we travel.

But having something cute and folksy that's all mine is kind of lovely all on its own. A bag just for weekends, those special short trips reserved for close-by mini adventures or holiday getaways. 

This sweater is also one of my favorite new things from Ruche, and I have already worn it a little too often lately. The bows and pearls are so sweet! 

I guess I was feeling a little retro yesterday because I parted my hair down the middle for the first time in many years. I was overwhelmed with how much I look like my mom. I kept picturing a photo of her when she was around my age, with her long straight hair, parted down the middle and all. I couldn't ask for a more lovely look-alike, but it made me miss her something fierce.

We're basically twinsies, except for my chin and sense of humor which belong to my dad. 

I think I'll keep up the middle-part for a while longer. :)

frocktober days

Frocktober is still in full swing over here!

I've been getting behind on posting my outfits every day, so I decided to do a combo post of days 13-16. 

We've been a very happy kind of busy over here!

As you know, last weekend we went to Richmond to see Needtobreathe in concert, and this weekend has been even more eventful!

We had fun double dates, some of our favorite friends moved back into town (completely surprising us at a coffee shop with the news), and we went on a weekend trip to the North Carolina State Fair!

I still have some catching up to do this coming week, but it has been a wonderful few days!

 Day 13: Dress (remixed): LOFT, Jacket/Earrings/Shoes: Gifted

I love animal prints of every kind, but this cat dress is definitely one of my favorites.
I tend to reach for it in the Fall, probably because of the deep color and easy layering possibilities. I also love that it has pockets!

Day 14: Dress (remixed): Zulily, Boots (shop!): Urbanog, Sweater: Target (remixed)

My birthday wishlist this year was very boot-heavy. I wanted a collection of colored booties so I could pretty much live in boots for the next 6 months. So far, so good!
I love these grey cowboy booties. I'm really excited to have this new neutral to reach for on boot days!
If you haven't visited Urbanog, I would highly recommend it. It's my go-to for booties, definitely. Occasionally I also find some great flats, and they definitely have a crazy selection of weird platform shoes that remind me of Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century (anyone? anyone?) but go straight to the boot section and you won't be disappointed. They sometimes even have shoes and styles from my favorite boutiques, but at much better prices!

Day 15: Dress: LOFT, Necklace (shop!): Ruche

I've had a secret dislike for turtlenecks for many years -- trying to figure out how to fold the neck so it doesn't bunch awkwardly, or stand straight up like a strange giraffe costume, was always my struggle. But something changed in me last year.
Not sure when exactly it happened -- although it might have been this outfit post.
This is actually the only turtleneck I own, because it's the only one I have held on to over the years. It's such a subtle neck, and doesn't bunch awkwardly because it's perfectly ruffled - and is really soft and perfect for layering. I guess I had never really realized turtlenecks are so perfect for layering, but I definitely wore this every day in London and Paris!
I'll definitely be looking for more turtlenecks this winter!

 Day 16: Dress: Bought in London, Boots: Urbanog, Jeans: Forever21

I'm looking forward to the weather continually getting cooler so I can layer more!
Only 11 days left of Frocktober. This month has been speeding by, and I'm not quite ready for all the festivities to end. :)
Look for more Frocktober updates from the last few days, and hopefully I'll be back up-to-date by next weekend!