grown ups {frocktober, day 5 + 6}

Outfit 1:

Dress (remixed 1, 2): gifted // Leggings (shop!): Pink Blush Maternity

Outfit 2:

Dress (remixed 1, 2, 3, 4, 5): Ruche // Sweater (similar): LOFT

I think I've worn this aztec dress more than anything else in my wardrobe. It has become more of a long tank top in my current ballooned state, but it's still my go-to for a bright, comfortable dress. The 6th was rainy and cool, and it finally felt a little like Fall. I immediately brought out this grey knit sweater, which I bought this past summer in anticipation of a winter pregnancy. I got it for $10 at LOFT on super sale, and it has been sitting with its tags on just waiting for a day like this. I was so thrilled to finally put it on. The day I picked that sweater out does not seem that long ago, and I'm a little bit shocked at how the time has flown by. Here I am, wearing this time capsule sweater, 28 weeks pregnant and dreaming about that wintery breeze in the air.

This week has definitely been a reminder that I am a grown up. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes, while living with my parents and playing with kittens and planning weekend shenanigans, it completely escapes my notice that I'm in my late twenties and am about to move into a real house and have a baby. 

I turned 27 on Monday and the day just kind of whispered by. I kept shocking myself by being so calm about it. I've always loved birthdays a little too much - last year we had a fantastic s'mores bar bonfire party. This year snuck up on me, and I didn't plan a single thing. I remember being in a bit of a funk last year, too, and I think it's because I'm realizing that I can't quite accomplish the exuberance I've always reserved for birthday month anymore. It seems like something I should grow out of. Truthfully, I don't want to grow out of it - the thought makes me quite sad. But this year, it felt okay to be a grown up. To pay attention to more important things, and refrain from forcing focus on myself. My birthday was simple and lovely - I went to work, had lunch at my favorite cafe, gathered with my family for a delicious Chinese take-out dinner, and ended with my grandma's blueberry bread pudding for dessert. 

As this month progresses (I'm still quietly celebrating birthday month), the greatest birthday gift I can possibly imagine would be to finally move in to our house. We're also going to visit our besties in North Carolina on the 29th, which will be the perfect way to end this October. There are so many things to look forward to. Each day brings us closer to house, travel, holidays, and baby! Yes. Being a grown up is pretty grand.

happy halloween {frocktober, day 28+29+30}

Outfit 1: Dress (remixed 1 / 2 / 3): Modcloth, Lace Top: LOFT

Outfit 2: Dress: gifted, Denim (remixed 1 / 2): Old Navy

Outfit 3: Dress (shop!): Sheinside

A collection of Frocktober days to prepare for the very last!
I just purchased the third dress from an online shop called Sheinside! I ordered some fun things for my birthday, and just received them this week. The clothes are inexpensive and super cute, but they also ship from China and are sometimes not very well represented in the shop photos, details and reviews. It's kind of a gamble! I went ahead and just went for it, hoping the clothes fit! This dress pattern is incredibly vibrant and fun (see it online here), and it actually has 3-quarter length sleeves. It's really comfortable, too. My only qualm with it is that the waist seam is very oddly placed. I'm hoping to wear it again soon and get better photos of it, but the actual seam is about 2 inches below where I belted it. It's not low enough to be intentionally drop-waisted, so it creates a rather strange poof unless you belt it. But all in all I'm excited about playing around with it!

It's Halloween, which means that today is my last day of intentional dress-wearing.
I will be celebrating by wearing another dress to a wedding tomorrow!

I love Halloween. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to love Halloween as an adult, because most of the fun is either of the over-the-top horror variety or from trying to be a kid again by going trick-or-treating, which you always regret because 1.) you look creepy amongst the neighborhood children 2.) all that candy just ends up making your adult body sick and unhappy.

But I actually love Halloween for very real, appropriate reasons.

1. Harry Potter

All Hogwarts holidays are fantastic, but there's something incredibly cheerful, festive, and magical about Hogwarts Halloweens. It's probably second only to a Hogwarts Christmas. They're legitimate witches and wizards, so they obviously have every right and reason to have floating candles, elaborate feasts, black garments, witch hats, and obviously copious amounts of butterbeer and pumpkin juice. When you're in the world of Harry Potter, the holiday ceases to have that foreboding, silly, American style of cheesy Halloweeniness.

2. Dressing up

I still love costumes. I love dressing up with my husband at a harvest festival, working a booth or a trunk for trunk-or-treat. The last two years we have been Disney couples (Carl and Ellie, and Gnomeo and Juliet) and it has been so fun. I'm a big fan of make believe and stories, and having a day where you can be silly and dress up is totally okay with me.
I'm currently wearing a black and white striped sweater, a black beanie, a black mask, and a tote bag filled with books...any guesses? :)

3. Carving pumpkins

I've accidentally carved cat-themed pumpkins for the last two years in a row, which means it should probably just be a solid tradition at this point. We had our pumpkin carving get-together with friends last night, and we deviated a bit from cats and carved ours into Pikachu. Close enough!

4. It's finally Fall

This wasn't true when we lived in Virginia, but I have definite memories as a kid of growing up in Arizona and feeling like Halloween was the first experience with a lovely, chilly fall evening each year. We would be walking around outside with our candy buckets and it would finally be in the upper 60's or 70's, and it would feel so grand. Sometimes we'd even be shivering (we're pretty wimpy about the cold out here). It would usher in November and all of the holiday dreams and festivities, and Arizona would finally begin to cool down!


I'll even confess to enjoying a few scary movies here and there, and liking some of the creepiness that always accompanies Halloween time. I'm the kid that loved weird dark movies like The Labyrinth, The Neverending Story, Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland, etc.

But mostly I just enjoy friends and the simple festivities of October's end.

the cat dress {frocktober, day 27}

Cat Dress (remixed 1, 2, 3): LOFT, Skirt: gifted, Cardigan: J. Crew 

Just a simple Frocktober post on this lovely Tuesday.

I love this little cat dress more and more every time I wear it. This is the first time I've ever tucked it into a skirt, but since it's a shift dress it works really nicely.

My color tip for outfits like this is to utilize complementary colors. Normally I might wear a neutral cardigan with a fun patterned dress, but because I already paired the dress with a white skirt I went with the teal. Red and green are complimentary colors, so that makes pink and teal besties too, right? I think so.

the curse of the telephone {frocktober, day 20}

Dress (remixed 1, 2): Ruche, Sweater (remixed): LOFT

Earlier this week I read this article about having a serious phone phobia and I was literally grinning like a fool because I'm not alone in the world. Granted, I already knew that, because this whole strange phobia/disease is fairly rampant in my immediate family. We're pretty terrible at communicating. We always joke that we're on a "need to know basis" and, apparently, nobody needs to know. 

I'm not sure where my telephonitis stems from or when it started, but I'm fairly certain it's a parasitic fear virus that only gets worse as time goes on.

I have memories of talking on my super awesome land-line phone (which was purple and glittery and from Limited Too) as a kid with a few close friends, sometimes for quite a long time. When we got wireless home phones I remember walking round and round the kitchen island, avoiding the cracks in the tile, in a strange rhythmic nervous tick of conversational movement.

Then I remember, in 8th grade, talking to boys on the phone and feeling as if I was having an out-of-body experience. I would sweat, and babble, and say all kinds of absurd things and hang up feeling exhausted and completely baffled by my behavior. Even then I recognized it as a kind of teenage angst, but now I wonder if it was just the early stages of phone aversion. 

I count myself blessed that I was able to pretty seamlessly make the transition from growing phone-hater to rabid texter. Cell phones became more and more common once I hit high school, and I was always the fastest texter on the block. Clickety click clickety click. My friends were in awestruck wonder (superb annoyance) at my ungodly skills. The reason for my lightening fingers?

Please don't make me call this person see how fast I can text it's way better so much better so much faster see look I'm already done!

Like Rachel, the author of that article, I have observed myself suffering from this odd crippling social flaw for years and I wonder why. Why am I like this? When did it start? What is the root of the problem?

Rachel has hypothesized her own root as this:

I simply want to see who I’m talking to, and I can’t on the phone. I can’t tell if they’re enjoying the conversation, or amused by my stories, or simply interested in anything I have to say. For all I know they've muted their end and are busy eating a sandwich.

It's an acute observation to point out that we want (maybe even need) feedback when we're communicating with others, whether it's a smile or a nod or just simple rapt eye contact. Perhaps that's one of the issues I have with the phone, too, but I think I've identified an even deeper part of this phobia puzzle for myself.

I am not comfortable communicating at all. 

Ever. If it involves another human that is actually responding to me, I seize up. I'm not saying I'm incapable of having fun with other people or with talking to others, because I definitely can. I love people! But I'm a grade A interrupter and I think part of it is because in lively conversation I'm always nervous. I start speaking too loudly or I speak harsher than I mean to. I blurt things out or I try to hide my true feelings. I try too hard to make people laugh, or I get too worked up trying to explain something (like why I hate the himym finale.) I'm not comfortable communicating. I'm not very good at it. It's difficult for me.
A phone call is the absolute worst representation of this because there is the added silence and pressure to speak, and that unknowable black hole on the other end that holds another person that, as she pointed out, may or may not be understanding or appreciating my words. It's incredibly frightening and frustrating. I think I have a hard enough time speaking face to face as it is. I struggle with representing my true self to others. Even to my husband who arguably knows me better than anyone else, I sometimes struggle to efficiently and honestly communicate what I'm feeling.
I always fear I'm messing up what I really want to say, which is why I find writing, blogging, texting, etc. so much easier and more freeing.
It's absolutely tied to self-doubt and insecurity, which didn't really start showing up until I was around 11 or 12, which is when this phone phobia really started.

It's the same reason I abhor confrontation, and I love cats, and I hate talking on the telephone. I am practically a born hermit.

Having said all of this, I do think I am getting better. (Getting even better is on my to do list). I simply have to bolster myself up in order to endure these encounters. I live so deeply inside my own head that I just have to work much harder to communicate enthusiastically and bravely, whether in-person or {gulp} on that blasted telephone. I recognize it as a weakness, and I know the only true cure is a giant Starbucks and a crown of resolution on my head and on my heart. I don't want to be unable to communicate with my friends, and I don't want to lose that age of connection to people in favor of Facebook and texting, because that truly isn't enough. It isn't real. I want to find my 10-year-old girl within that was alright to talk about nothing and everything with no doors barred.

I'll send you a text when I've found her.

bonjour!

I suppose I should have mentioned in my dramatic last post, I did buy that cute striped sweater that said Bonjour! Because why not?

When Dusty and I went to Paris last March, I managed to avoid buying anything cheesily Paris-themed, like an eiffel tower t-shirt or something like that. Obviously I was tempted, but now at least I can buy things like this sweater in the states with the excuse that I've been there and have clumsily said bonjour! in real life.

Sweater: LOFT outlet, Top (similar, similar): Ruche, Booties: Urbanog

Announcement: we're going on another adventure.
I suppose March is our month to travel, because in less than two months we'll be jumping on a plane to Italy!
I wonder if I could wear this Bonjour! sweater there? I should probably find one that says Ciao!

In the meantime, I am going to be dreaming about gelato and bruschetta and all the best sights!
We'll be hitting Istanbul for a day, then moving on to Rome, Florence, and Venice.

If any of you have been there and have any recommendations, I'd love to hear them!
Oh darling, let's be adventurers!

the last crystal

Destiny seems like a strong word when you're talking about a small token of desire. A token like a necklace.

But I don't really know how else to describe a series of events like this one....

In November we went to the mountains with another couple. It was such a beautiful fall, and we couldn't wait to spend a little time away!

Her family owns a beautiful house in Blowing Rock, NC -- there's really not much to say about the weekend except that it was absolute perfection. 

Board games by the fire, leaves turning, stunning vistas, ice cream, coffee, shopping.

In town there's a great strip of outlet stores, and we decided to go there on our last day. 

This may be a huge shocker, but us girls wanted to shop a lot longer than the boys wanted to...their patience was growing a little thin. Right around the time they started dozing off on the couches in LOFT. 

I was, of course, the last one to be rushing to finish up -- I ended up getting only one pair of pants because I was in panic-mode and didn't want to buy stuff I wasn't even sure I wanted. I'm guilty of that way too often!

With Dusty following close behind, shielding my eyes from any further distractions, he cowed me into the checkout line and I hastily flung the pants onto the counter.

Once the cashier rang me up, I went to pay and suddenly noticed her ensemble. So cute! A LOFT sweater, of course. It was nearing the official time to be sparkly and festive, and she was wearing a maroon sweater with the most amazing necklace ever. It was so sparkly on her, I just had to comment : I love your necklace!

She smiled, I think it's actually right behind you!

Oh yes. There it was. Hanging in the jewelry section that I hadn't had time to browse.

It's such a horrible feeling, regret.

I saw it hanging there, the little tag sticking up. $8.00. 

I think Dusty saw the look in my eye because he seemed to raise in stature and his eyes said, don't you dare. Our friends were waiting by the door and I started to sweat.

We got in the car and I seriously considered yelling apologies as I ran back into the store before anyone could stop me. But, alas, it was too late. I had surrendered.
We went back to the cabin to enjoy our last few hours, then drove back to Virginia and bid farewell to an amazing mountain weekend.

Non-buyer's guilt is real, though. It's real. 

Obviously the story doesn't really end there.
The first weekend in January we went back with our friends to the mountains, (and almost died in a crazy snowstorm, but that's a different story), went back to the outlet mall, and I walked back into LOFT and that feeling of sadness still lingered.
Of course, it's an outlet store. Things come and go and change and filter out like crazy. There was a cute new striped sweater in the window that said Bonjour, so I decided it would be my fun purchase for the day if I could find it. The necklace was something from my past that I wasn't going to let ruin my day.
I kept it simple, tried some things on, and was the first at the cash register. My friend was still shopping so I felt at ease browsing the jewelry section.
I saw a few cute necklaces, but was suddenly blinded by something shocking and beautiful.
There. Behind a stack of other unremarkable necklaces. Was the necklace. 
It was there! After all this time, one little straggler was left behind, perused but never bought, considered but never taken home. It was there waiting for me.
The last necklace.

See?

It was destiny.

frocktober days

Frocktober is still in full swing over here!

I've been getting behind on posting my outfits every day, so I decided to do a combo post of days 13-16. 

We've been a very happy kind of busy over here!

As you know, last weekend we went to Richmond to see Needtobreathe in concert, and this weekend has been even more eventful!

We had fun double dates, some of our favorite friends moved back into town (completely surprising us at a coffee shop with the news), and we went on a weekend trip to the North Carolina State Fair!

I still have some catching up to do this coming week, but it has been a wonderful few days!

 Day 13: Dress (remixed): LOFT, Jacket/Earrings/Shoes: Gifted

I love animal prints of every kind, but this cat dress is definitely one of my favorites.
I tend to reach for it in the Fall, probably because of the deep color and easy layering possibilities. I also love that it has pockets!

Day 14: Dress (remixed): Zulily, Boots (shop!): Urbanog, Sweater: Target (remixed)

My birthday wishlist this year was very boot-heavy. I wanted a collection of colored booties so I could pretty much live in boots for the next 6 months. So far, so good!
I love these grey cowboy booties. I'm really excited to have this new neutral to reach for on boot days!
If you haven't visited Urbanog, I would highly recommend it. It's my go-to for booties, definitely. Occasionally I also find some great flats, and they definitely have a crazy selection of weird platform shoes that remind me of Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century (anyone? anyone?) but go straight to the boot section and you won't be disappointed. They sometimes even have shoes and styles from my favorite boutiques, but at much better prices!

Day 15: Dress: LOFT, Necklace (shop!): Ruche

I've had a secret dislike for turtlenecks for many years -- trying to figure out how to fold the neck so it doesn't bunch awkwardly, or stand straight up like a strange giraffe costume, was always my struggle. But something changed in me last year.
Not sure when exactly it happened -- although it might have been this outfit post.
This is actually the only turtleneck I own, because it's the only one I have held on to over the years. It's such a subtle neck, and doesn't bunch awkwardly because it's perfectly ruffled - and is really soft and perfect for layering. I guess I had never really realized turtlenecks are so perfect for layering, but I definitely wore this every day in London and Paris!
I'll definitely be looking for more turtlenecks this winter!

 Day 16: Dress: Bought in London, Boots: Urbanog, Jeans: Forever21

I'm looking forward to the weather continually getting cooler so I can layer more!
Only 11 days left of Frocktober. This month has been speeding by, and I'm not quite ready for all the festivities to end. :)
Look for more Frocktober updates from the last few days, and hopefully I'll be back up-to-date by next weekend!